Syndicated columnist Norman Chad, preuambly aware of “E-60″‘s unseemly ambush of Astros SS Miguel Tejada, submits the following transcript from his own fateful encounter with “Ferris Toms of Fox Sports Net’s ‘F-60′”. “Little did I know my whole ink-sustained world would come crashing down when I agreed to do the interview” complained Chad, who might still have something left to offer as a character actor….if a second season of “Tilt” ever takes place.
Toms: How old are you?
Me: Me? I’m 47.
Toms: Born in …?
Me: A hospital.
Toms: In which year?
Toms: You sure?
Me: Why do I have to lie? Are you a divorce attorney?
Toms: We acquired the birth certificate that your father filed when you were a boy and, uh, let me show it to you because I want you to explain this to me. OK?
Me: My father? Where did you find him at, OTB or DMV?
Toms: This is your birth certificate, right? Is that you?
Me: Probably. Maybe. Perhaps. Who wants to know?
Toms: Is this your birth certificate?
Me: Hey, you don’t have to bring me over here to talk about my personal stuff — I pay a therapist to do that.