The Guardian’s Carrie Dunn reports the UK’s Foreign Office has launched a new website designed for fans heading to June’s World Cup in Germany.

In the next few weeks the site will be updated with German translations of England fans’ favourite songs. “Those football fans who wish to learn the English songs in German to sing at the World Cup can do so and the Foreign Office will help them do that,” a spokesman said.

Fiona McGee, spokeswoman for the Football Supporters’ Federation, is hoping that Ten German Bombers (Zehn deutsche Bomber) (above) will be missing in action this summer. “If that’s the best we can do it’s not good enough,” she said. “England fans have a dearth of good songs. There is a lot of humour at grounds around the country but none translates to England.”

Foreign Office minister Lord Triesman joined in with a feeble attempt to ingratiate himself as one of the lads. “If it was up to me, ‘fünf-eins’ would be in there, celebrating our famous 5-1 victory in Munich.”

England fans have been asked to send in new, improved, hilarious, golden-age-of-terrace-humour-esque songs for the World Cup. The Sun is running a competition, rather like Eurovision but with fewer sequins, with entry titles including: “Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Jürgen Klinsmann?”, which bodes well for the quality of the lyrics.