I can’t really care about hockey. It’s not in me, and I don’t think it ever will be. I can enjoy watching the games, in a certain sense, but mostly it’s the same problem that I have with soccer — as easy as it is to appreciate the virtuosity of the players and the energy of the crowd and the general aesthetics of the game, it all just kind of passes through me. So, for all I know, the NHL is stacked with sportscasters doing the same experimental broadcasting work as the Florida Panthers’ Randy Moller, a former NHL goon turned play-by-play guy. I probably wouldn’t watch even if there were, but it’s nice to think about.

For more on Moller — and on why I’m posting something about hockey, which I’m frankly unqualified to do — I’ll turn it over to Matthew Abrams — generally a movie blogger who seems to have stumbled into a weird neighborhood of YouTube — who sent me this link. Although I will also recommend that you follow Matthew’s advice and not maybe watch the video while listening to the audio — it works better as a weird parade of sound (goal scored, Moller identifying the scorer, horn sounding, Moller burping up some random de-contextualized bit of pop-culture flotsam) than it does as video. In that way it’s not unlike this other Florida-set YouTube masterpiece, although the Caruso-enhanced one at least has higher production value and his ghastly death’s head visage to recommend it. Anyway, Matt says:

Apparently in conjunction with a local radio show (this is Dan Le Batard’s show, I gather — ed.), this guy yells various pop-culture phrases post-goal. I went to youtube to search for a reel (found this one; it’s funnier if you listen to it without watching), and was pleased to find that 95% of his youtube hits are of him getting coldcocked in his player days. “Randy Moller goal” yields zero good matches. “Randy Moller fight” yields eight.

Forgive me if this is old news. It’s Saturday and I know nothing about hockey. I just know I found it amusing listening to this mustachioed Canadian destroying the idea of context.