Minnesota 20, Chicago 14

Good thing these two don’t have to play another one today, right? Seriously, the only thing more shocking than the 39 combined hits is that Jason Vargas wasn’t responsible for any of them.

Earlier today, the Chicago Tribune’s Dave van Dyck reported that Mark Buerhrle was seen cleaning out his locker. Because he’s tidy, that’s all.

The Tigers’ Neifi Perez has been banned for 25 games after testing positive for a banned substance. And no, Cubs fans, the substance in question wasn’t Sucking Like Crazy pills.