Amidst signs of life from the slumping trio of Carlos Beltran (single, HR, 2 RBI’s), Carlos Delgado (2 singles, 1 RBI) and Shawn Green (double, HR, two RBI’s), the New York Mets’ crushed Oakland last night, 9-1. Tom Glavine finally picked up win no. 296 after what seemed like a dozen tries (5 actually), allowing little more damage than a solo HR to Shannon Stewart. If you’re wondering how the offensively challenged Metropolitans managed to bust out against Lenny DiNardo, the Newark Star-Ledger’s Don Burke drops a rather suspicious hint (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory).
In a letter to Jay Horwitz, the Mets’ Vice President of Media Relations, The Amazing Kreskin offered to meet with the team as a group, where he would train and condition them mentally using a technique that would relieve them of the negative impacts the losses have exacted, thereby improving their playing and leading to success on the field.
This is not the first time Kreskin has offered to help a professional sports team break out of a terrible slump. In March of 2002, Toronto’s NBA team, The Raptors, was experiencing a devastating 13-game losing streak. Using the power of persuasion, Kreskin was able to affect the Raptor’s fans and the city of Toronto. As a result of this specifically crafted technique, sports writers credited Kreskin with breaking the slump, claiming it had a sufficient impact on the team.
“My confidentiality with individual sports figures would not allow me to bring up specific names,” noted Kreskin, “but in the past, I have been able to offer a technique that changed the fabric of a player’s success.”
Earlier this year, Kreskin boldly predicted an “innovative” reality show with outdoorsy elements and “something involving cars” that would take over Canadian TV. Based on what he was able to do for the Mets in 24 hours, I am very much looking forward to the CBC debut of “Let’s Run Over Don Cherry”.