Said chart smash being of course, the oft-derided, “Ironic” (1996), of which The Guardian’s Ian McCourt reminds us, “the worst part was not the moderate tempo, B major tune but that none of the things she was actually yapping on about were ironic at all. Just plain, ol’ bad luck.”
Now, if Alanis were to ever look to update that song, maybe do a more contemporary remix drawing her inspiration from the Chicago drill scene with a guest verse from Chief Keef or Lil Bibby and she needed some material to mine, then the dark lords of football might be a good place for her to start. The latest newsflash coming from whatever mountainside, brandy-soaked lair Fifa is hiding in these days is that its Ethics Committee – you got that one, Alanis? – is doing its upmost to slap a 15-year ban on Chung Mong-joon (above). Yes, the same Chung Mong-joon who has thrown his name into the hat to replace Sepp Blatter and give football a good spring-cleaning.
“I will mobilise all my experience and resources for the rebirth, the renaissance, of Fifa,” is what he said then and here is what he is saying now: “The fundamental reason why I am being targeted is that I aimed straight at the existing power structure of Fifa,” he raged, before adding that the powers-that-be did not like his thumbs up to South Korea’s 2022 World Cup bid as well as his proposal for a Global Football Fund so that all the poor kiddies out there could have a decent pitch on which to kick a ball. Won’t someone please think of the poor kiddies?
Right now though, The Fiver has no time to think about them as it’s just thinking about food and nor does Chung. He is only thinking about himself and thinking that he is going to get off these charges. “Ultimately, I will prevail and will be vindicated,” he said, putting his dukes up and getting his gloves strapped on by his trainer and brother, Chung Mong-koo. Yes that is the same Chung Mong-koo who was convicted in 2007 for embezzling £53m into a bribery slush fund. Is that irony or just plain, ol’ bad luck?
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If you work your way a bit further down the Alanis charts, “Hands Clean” works too.