Fired on Monday morning, then jailed by Tuesday night (his paparazzi victim, shown above) if there’s any saving grace for Paul Gascoigne it has to be that neither he nor Jim Rome have ever heard of each other.

Back in the universe of actual competition, Liverpool visit Chelsea in the Champions League Group G later today (ESPN2, 2:30pm EST), while Schalke travel to AC Milan in Group E action (Setanta US, 2:30 pm EST).

The F.A has given Stoke City a week to respond following home fans assualting QPR keeper Simon Royce during the final moments of last Saturday’s away win to Rangers, 2-1.