Did they bother having auditions for baseball yackmeisters on XM’s Home Plate channel or are they just hiring anyone who walks in off the street? I mean, other than Charley Steiner. We’ve already been suffering through Ronnie “Night Train” Lane, a man who exhbits such dubious knowledge of the game, he oughta rename himself “Night Nurse” after the coma-inducing over the counter syrup of the same name.

Well, add weekend host Mark Gray to XM’s less than stellar roster of those who speak first and check to see if their brains are switched on later. This morning, Gray noted that the Cubs’ Greg Maddux had an ERA of 9.00 entering today’s contest with the Brewers. “If you add up the last 3 years of his ERA’s, it wouldn’t equal 9.00” proclaimed the mathmatically challenged mouthpiece.

Maddux had the following ERA’s in 2002-2004 ;


I hope for the sake of Gray’s family he had someone else do his taxes this year.

In the same broadcast, Gray characterized Randy Johnson’s performance Saturday against Baltimore as “effective” (5 runs, 8 hits in 6 innings) and called Seattle’s Eddie Guardado, “Automatic Eddie”. The former Twins closer, for those who actually give a fuck about accuracy, blew 7 saves in 25 chances last year. If that’s Gray’s idea of a sure thing, I’m building a casino next to his house.

(the formerly steady Eddie. Perhaps he drives an automatic?)