(Hooray, we’re imposing our values on others! Third from left, a newly svelte Diamond Dallas Page)

Kill-joys, health nuts and other proponents of the Nanny State (and I don’t mean the Fran Drescher star vehicle) are partying (quietly) this morning, as a ban on smoking in nightclubs, bars, etc. is due to take effect in Austin, TX this September.

Aside from the deadly impact this will surely have on venues I visit as often as once a year, I cannot help but wonder which other activities, currently thought to be socially acceptable, will soon be banned in public? Masturbation, projective vomiting, ritual cutting, intravenous drug use, all come to mind. Don’t laugh. Someday you might be saying “when they came for the smokers, I said nothing. When they came for the chronic masturbators, I said nothing. But when they came for me and the other projectile vomiters, there was no one left to speak.”