All of a sudden, QPR actually winning a Worthless Cup match and Nic Anelka’s return to the Premiership aren’t the big stories. For years, some of us have been confident that Man City defender Ben Thatcher would make headlines. Perhaps when his body was found washed up somewhere, or maybe in one of those “my agent stole my money” scandals. This, however, was not what we had in mind.

Hurry Up Harry Redknapp wonders if it would take killing someone to justify a red card these days. Other than Wayne Rooney appealing the decision later on, yeah, I think that’s exactly what would be required.