ch. 73 – while lauding Barca’s Ronaldinho, Jermey Schapp claimed that Peyton Manning plays a sport that is of interest to only about 5% of the planet. Who knew that sitting on a woman’s faces without consent was such an obscure pastime?

ch. 75 – Not a baseball game. The total amount of Jason Kapono’s playoff share just increased.

ch. 642 – Brewers 4, Phillies 3. Bill Hall scores the winning run for the second game in a row, no pink bat required this time. Phillies fans could be a little more confident of their pennant chances if Ryan Franklin would flunk another drug test.

ch. 643 – Giants 14, Astros 3. The only thing uglier than Wandy Rodriguez’ line for the evening (3.2 IP, 11 runs, 10 hits, 5 walks) was Russ Springer’s attempt to pander to Sultan Haters (above). If Phil Garner doesn’t like watching the opposition run up the score, perhaps the Astros should call up Jason Hirsh instead of throwing at an overweight man who can barely walk?

ch. 734 – Red Sox 6, Orioles 5. Unit psychologist Curt Schilling gets the win despite allowing 3 homers and 9 hits. Jonathan Papelbon had a scoreless 9th inning for his 14th save.

ch. 736 – Indians 6, Royals 4. The Royals’ Amriox Burgos fails to hold a lead, allowing a home run Grady Sizemore, followed by Jeremy Sisco serving up a 2 run shot to Travis “Don’t Call Me Nick” Hafner (above). KC’s pen is now 5 for 15 in save opportunities, which is pretty astonishing for a club that doesn’t have Braden Looper or John Franco on the payroll.

ch. 735 – Pirates 7, Reds 3. That Jeromy Burnitz is some kind of baseball player. I’m not gonna say what kind because his parents might Google this.

(Jorge Posada hitting a 2-run, run-around-the-bases-off game winning HR, as grooved by Akinori Otsuka)

ch. 738 – Yankees 14, Rangers 13. If Mike Vanderjagt is going to continue missing extra points, I don’t know why the Cowboys signed him. In all seriousness, congrats to the 6 Texas pitchers who combined to blow a 9 run lead. Naturally, the only one of ’em who escaped unscathed was Ron Mahay, a former position player once upon a time.

ch. 750 – Braves 4, Marlins 3 (11 innings). The old line about Dontrelle Willis suing for non-support is only funny if you’ve never had to take that kind of legal action yourself. Trust me, it’s no picnic.

ch. 751 – Mets 4, Cards 3 (7th inning, rain delay). Apparently the rain showers are “coming from overhead” according to meteorologist Joe Buck. Apparently, Tony La Russa had a golf tournament yesterday to raise funds for abused animals. What’s Steve Kline gonna do with more money?