Jeff Johnson‘s Saturday Op-ed entry for The New York Times, “Bouncing Baby Bailout”, is humbly described by the author as “my modest (and moronic) bailout proposal”, though I’m sure everyone will agree at the very least, it could be a windfall for “adoption agencies, fertility specialists and surrogates.”

Many Americans have children. Most of these children will one day command a decent salary. So let™s permit parents to pre-emptively tap into those future earnings in the form of loans payable now. These loans can then be spent on perms, basketball sneakers and American-made vehicles; and they™ll provide much-needed capital for small businesses like laundromats and hoagie shops.

How would this work, exactly? Well, I have a 4-year-old. An expert from a federal Department of Reverse Inheritance Policy, or D.R.I.P., would subject my son to a series of physical and standardized tests and determine that there will be, say, a five-year period in my son™s adulthood when he™ll earn $100,000 a year.

I, as the boy™s parent, would then be entitled to a Reverse Inheritance loan of $50,000 (or 10 percent of the earnings from the aforementioned five-year period). And my child will simply earn $10,000 less per year (plus interest) over that same period, which is thankfully much, much, much farther down the road. (If he has children by then, he™ll qualify for a Reverse Inheritance loan, of course, and his wallet won™t feel a thing.)

This isn™t just about money. Expect to see stronger familial bonds and fewer single-parent homes. After all, what parent would leave, when there are loans to be taken out on children?

I certainly expect my family to grow closer. My 4-year-old and I are stuck in the archaic roles of child and daddy. But with the prospect of a large R.I. loan, we™ll become partners ” him acing his D.R.I.P. exams, me spending his future earnings. Perhaps Reverse Inheritance will be the elephant in the family room, but it™s a kind elephant in a very nice family room with a new sofa and flat-screen high-definition television.