In the aftermath of my home burning down in 2009, Chase — the mortgage company after acquiring Washington Mutual’s business — did everything in their power to make my life miserable. To cut a very long story short, Chase held a massive insurance payment that covered nearly 90% of the loan’s balance in escrow for nearly 8 months while still demanding monthly payments on the original amount owed. It took the intervention of a government agency for Chase to finally address the issue, but not before months of overseas call center threats and preposterous “inspections” (of an empty lot — for which I was billed) had occurred. In the end, Chase pocketed the interest on the insurance check while charging full interest on the loan. A pretty neat bit of business there — they managed to profit wildly on what was nothing short of a personal catastrophe.
So with that incident in mind (and I thank you for bearing with me), I was very pleased to see Pete Carroll ensconced as Chase’s new spokesmodel. Who better to be associated with this malicious, predatory, faceless gang of creeps than an coach whose resume is largely based on ill-gotten gains and turning a blind eye to ethical lapses? Fuck the both of ’em, now and forever.