(a befuddled Kerry confesses to Michael Barrett that he didn’t even know Korn were still together)

A disgruntled Ben writes,

The Tribune Corporation had Korn lead singer Jonathan Davis throw out the first pitch today, a move aimed directly at me. As I write this, Will Ohlman just gave up the 4th HR of the day to the Nationals, three of which were handed out by “not quite rookie of the year” Kerry Wood who just flew in from Iowa AAA, bringing to mind the ageless punchline, “and boy are his arms tired.”