As the controversy rages over “The Team, The Time” (ie. is it the dumbest creation of all time or merely the worst piece of music ever recorded?), Faith & Fear In Flushing flashes back on another unfortunate marriage of (bad) music, baseball and video on the part of the Mets’ marketing department.

As 2003 was mercifully coming to an end, the Mets put together a video montage of highlights featuring Vance Wilson and Jason Phillips, to the tune of “Hold On”. (By Wilson Phillips, yagetit?) I actually thought it was pretty clever: The gimmick snuck up on you and made you laugh, the lyrics fit, and it was a rare, welcome case of a baseball team admitting to the fans that no, that was not the Big Red Machine down there on the field.

Nice work — except that the song was by Wilson Phillips.

The story goes that very, very shortly after the montage was unveiled, into A/V Central stomps Jason Phillips. He seems somewhat agitated: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING GAY SHIT? THAT IS THE GAYEST FUCKING SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN! WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THAT FUCKING GAY SHIT? DON’T EVER FUCKING PLAY THAT FUCKING GAY SHIT AGAIN!”

(Or something to that effect.)

When Phillips stops to hyperventilate, a crestfallen Mets A/V guy tries to manage the situation: “Jason — can we fix it?”

The answer, alas, is no. When you start with a Wilson Phillips song that’s the gayest fucking shit not really very cool, things are not fixable. And when you start with played-out Reagan administration beats and a rap a bright sixth-grader would be embarrassed by, you wind up in the same place.