(pay up, or Uncle D will put his boot up your ass)

You’ve probably heard the story about the Kiss Cam Marriage Proposal Gone Horribly Wrong at Monday’s Nats/Astros game, a sad tale followed in short succession by Houston slapping the would-be groom with a $300 invoice for services rendered.

The ever cynical Maura Johnston suggests, “perhaps paying Roger Clemens’ salary last year has had some long-term financial ramifications,” but on this one occasion, I’m gonna resist the temptation to blast the Astros. If it became common knowledge that all you needed to score choice seats and face time on the Jumbotron was to have a marriage proposal rejected, who knows how many couples would pull a similar stunt?

It should be stressed, of course, the ballpark, even one as historic modern as Ken Lay Field, is a terrible place to pop the question.

It’s a great place to have a three-way, however, but a lousy venue for a marriage proposal.