Does ESPN want a refund on its NBA rights-fees or what? Morning radio host Colin Cowherd began the season by announcing that the Association held little or no interest for the casual sports fan (ie. him). This afternoon, “Sports Bash” mouthpiece Eric Kuselias has pronounced the league’s mythical stock “at an all-time low”, saying the forthcoming playoffs offer little intrigue — big markets LA and NY are out of the mix, the Baby Bulls have little chance of winning, etc., and all attention surrounding pro basketball these days is bad news (eg. Auburn Hills riot, Jermaine O’Neal as the latest whipping boy for asshole radio hosts, etc.)
“Kurt Heinrich versus the Seattle Supersonics!”, snorted Kuselias. “The network executives must be dying to see that!”
I’m quite shocked to discover that Kuselias is so utterly obsessed with ratings. Since when was a hot matchup defined by its appeal to people who profess not to give a fuck? A Seattle/Chicago final, however unlikely to occur, would be a pretty good series. As would one between the Phoenix Suns and the defending champion Pistons, a matchup Kuselias claims “you couldn’t get your wife to watch”. Well, not my wife. But I have it on pretty good authority there are some other wives out there (husbands, too) who don’t mind looking at Steve Nash. Anyone who actually pays attention to the game won’t mind watching how far the Suns go in these playoffs.
Fuck, there’s plenty of drama to chew on. When will the Nuggets come back to earth? How about the Celtics winning their division for the first time in 13 years? Will the Nets be the hottest 8th seed in history and if so, will anyone at the Meadowlands show up? If Kuslias’ and his co-hosts genuinely dislike pro basketball, so be it. But if I’m David Stern, I’ve got to wonder why one of my broadcast partners goes so far out their way to trash the product on a regular basis.
My feeling is that Eric Kuselius thinks quite a bit of himself. Somebody about this guy smells awful. He is an intelligent mouthpiece with backward conservative views that, in his own “Rovian” manner, spin the sports news quite well. When he’s not regularly bashing some athlete who misspeaks or gets suspended, he’s got his thinly veiled bigotry at work, saying things like “I don’t really care for Herm Edwards” without giving you any reason. You know, pound down on the black athletes and then skin the black coaches alive if he’s got a small opening. I guess he thinks that most of the country’s with him. I’d like to see him justify apartheid and Nazi Germany next. Prick. Fuckhead.