While Arsenal celebrated their 2nd decisive cup victory at Anfield in 72 hours with Tuesday’s 6-3 blasting of Liverpool, the Fiver’s Barry Glendenning and Paul Doyle focus on the seamy topic of turnover in the coaching ranks. Who’d have thought dudes in that line of work are less than honest?

In Superman III, two directors discover that a hacker has pinched thousands of dollars from their company via some untraceable technological trickery. “Unless the man’s a complete idiot – I mean a total ignoramus – he’ll keep a low profile and not do anything to draw attention to himself,” they lament, realising they may never catch the culprit … until, at that moment, Richard Pryor’s character, low-paid computer geek Gus, turns up for work in flash new clothes and a gleaming Ferrari. Yet when it comes to outlandishly dumb indiscretions, there is one man dimmer than dear old Gus: ex-England ringleader Sven-Goran Eriksson.

Yes, the stealthy Swede, who famously fended off rumours linking him with a move to Chelsea by strolling into Roman Abramovich’s gaff in full view of Fleet Street photographers, today finds himself engulfed in controversy in France following the sort of tactless display that even seasoned streakers would be embarrassed by. Amid intense speculation linking Eriksson to the job of Marseille manager – what with Jack Kachkar, the clearly clueless Canadian bidding to take over the club, reportedly having made the Swede his top target – Eriksson deftly played down the gossip by turning up to watch yesterday’s friendly between Marseille and Lazio in Dubai. And ostentatiously taking notes throughout the game.

After OM chairman Pape Diouf vented his fury at what he said was a brazen attempt to pile pressure on current manager Albert Emon, the ever-convincing Swede, who famously underlined his commitment to keeping his professional and private life separate by banging his colleagues’ secretary, innocently pleaded: “I’m here on holiday, that’s all … I haven’t even thought about going to Olympique Marseille.” Perhaps. But an offer of £4m-a-season will soon change his mind.