(your author)

Hey, everybody! It’s been a while since your jerkface editor — a man so disliked, he couldn’t even weasel his way into this tournament — allowed me to bring my wit and wisdom to CSTB. And I sincerely wish this message was coming to you under happier circumstances.

You might’ve missed it while looking for pictures of that pole vaulter, but ESPN has a dramatization about my old friend Ruffian on their schedule for this coming Saturday night right after the Belmont Stakes.

Ruffian’s old trainer Frank Whiteley Jr and jockey Jacinto Vasquez have taken legal action to prevent the broadcast, and I think they’ve got every right to complain.

ESPN’s film is apparently based in some form on the scribblings of Bill Nack, whom as you’d expect has a very different version of events than Whiteley Jr.

It seems a great shame to me that all of the parties involved cannot come together and agree on what is entirely obvious to this veteran of both the show biz and equestrian worlds ; Tom Sizemore is a terrible choice to play Ruffian, and for that reason alone, the film should be scrapped.

Anyway, I’ve taken way too much of your time. Maybe I’ll be asked back the next time someone breaks a leg in public and has to be put down? But enough about Nick Johnson!

peace,

Mr. Ed.