Nationals 4, Cardinals 1

Washington starer Ramon Ortiz took a no-hitter into the 9th inning today against St. Louis before allowing a single to Aaron Miles. After inducing Chris Duncan to line into a double play, Ortiz lost the shutout to — who else? — Albert Pujols, who homered to left center.

Chad Cordero struck out Scott Rolen to put an end to the most fun you can have in DC without running over a former member of the Urban Verbs.

Earlier, Austin Kearns and Ortiz each homered off Jason Marquis.

In Miami today, the Snakes’ Enrique Gonzalez failed to protect a 5-0 lead, as Florida exploded for 6 in the 6th and another pair in the 7th, for an 8-5 lead. Dan Uggla just hit a 2-run HR to left center off Brandon Medders, and other than a) the acres of empty seats and b) rumors of Mike Keenan becoming manager, it is hard to imagine life being any better for the Marlins.

Stiff Little Fingers (above) once observed “You Can’t Say Crap On The Radio”. Bert Blyleven has learned that you also cannot say “fuck” on television. Were Charles Rocket still with us, he’d have warned Bert in advance.

The Juice’s Scott Long attempts a defense of Ken Harrelson. Coming soon, Long explains why Pol Pot wasn’t such a bad guy. Last week, Bill Simmons compared Sky Sports’ “Fan Zone” to “kind of like watching a White Sox telecast, only if Hawk Harrelson had a British accent and sounded drunk.” Except for the drunk part, this was one of Simmons’ rare astute observations, though I’d propose that “Fan Zone” — available as a seperate audio option for Sky Plus viewers  —- is funny for about the first two minutes. For those that have never attended a real football match, I suspect there’s some novelty in hearing a couple of idiots screaming bloody murder, but you’ll have to trust me on this one. The overall imact is less MST3K and more akin to a nonsensical IRC transcript recited at high volume. The question isn’t “which telecast would you watch?”, the pleebs yelling or Andy Gray lecturing. I’ve got a fucking mute button and I’m gonna continue to use it.