Ahem. From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel’s Tom Haudricourt.

Martinez doesn’t talk to reporters on days before he pitches, making it impossible Friday to ask him about finally facing the Brewers. He did mention to a Mets beat writer earlier in the week that his only memory of the city was a bad one.

“There was nothing to do,” Martinez said of his trip here with Boston in ’03. “I don’t do much normally, but there was nothing. Go to eat and go to the field.

“It seems like a boring city, but the field is nice. I never went to the old one (County Stadium).”

There are, of course, loads of things for Pedro to do in Milwaukee.

1) Visit the Jeffrey Dahmer Birthplace & Museum (above). Don’t forget to stop by the Gift Shop!
2) Take a test drive in one of Bud Selig’s many used cars.
3) Visit the Bob Uecker Birthplace & Museum
4) Get Dennis and Jimmy Frog to autograph your copy of ‘Starjob’.
5) Ring up David Lander (be sure to turn off caller ID) at 3am and ask him if Appliances SFB and Die Kruezen were both drowning and he could only save one, which would it be?
6) Visit the Jay Tiller Birthplace & Museum (ok, I think we’re coming to a close right about now)
7) Drive to Green Bay.

FSN North’s broadcast team, suitably outraged by Pedro’s insolance, have reminded viewers during tonight’s Mets/Brewers telecast of all the great cultural highlights Milwaukee has to offer. The Harley-Davidson Summerfest (headlined last year by noted biker rock legend Elton John), the Milwaukee Zoo (“one of America’s Top 5”) and Milwaukee Symphony (presumably, not one of America’s top 5) were all cited. No disrespect to the city or its lovely residents, but I like my list better.