Every now and then, a broadcasting voice emerges that puts the atrocities committed by his colleagues into some kind of perspective. Numerous bloggers have opined this postseason that the mere sound of Chris Berman is enough to provoke a shooting spree. That the all-seeing, all-knowing Joe Morgan’s trenchant analysis might be the catalyst for a mass suicide. That Suzyn Waldman and John Sterling have never sounded so much like Suzyn Waldman and John Sterling.
All of which makes perfect sense. But as I write this entry, Fox Sports’ Steve Lyons is in full prattle during the Braves/Astros contest. Without wanting to diminish the mass suffering caused by the personalities named above, Lyons is nothing short of a menace to society. If you can imagine Doctor Moreau (played by Marlon Brando) forcing Fran Healy and Jay Mohr to mate, Lyons would be the product of said ghastly experiment.
I’m feeling like David Thewlis… and I can’t find the keys to Val Kilmer’s jeep.