…if the franchise had any intention of retaining Dwight Howard.  OK, that’s pretty much what the Toronto Star’s Cathal Kelly opines upon learning Orlando planned to interview TNT analyst Shaquille O’Neal for Otis Smith’s recently vacated office (“the lunatics are not just running the asylum — they’ve fraudulently diverted asylum resources and are building themselves a summer house”).

This has nothing to do with basketball know-how. O’Neal has inserted himself between the club and its vacillating star, Dwight Howard. Ownership apparently hopes that O’Neal can persuade Howard to stay.

This might work, since they are the same person.

Or this might not work, since when he found himself in an identical position, O’Neal slid out of town like he was greased.

“Don’t do it,” O’Neal might say to Howard, five minutes after getting the job. “Just remember that when I parachuted out of the this godforsaken swamptown, all I got for it was richer, more famous and four championship rings . . . wait. Let me start again.”