(they really oughta rename it Habitat For Inhumanity when Tom’s on the job)

Besides “case dismissed”, “Play ball!” are the two happiest words in the English language I could hope to hear on a spring morning. And though I won’t actually hear those words, there will undoubtedly be many others intoned by Gary Cohen, Keith Hernanadez and Ron Darling this afternoon to soothe the soul.

Until Alfonso Soriano takes Tom Glavine to the parking lot, that is.

Someone has already pointed out that no matter what, Soriano won’t be the most ill-equipped guy to patrol left field at Shea. I wonder if Todd Hundley has SNY on his cable system?

Anyhow, I’ve got the next few hours already blocked off, so if there’s anything you’ll be needing — a ride to the hospital, perhaps a walk around the block (canine guardian, I’m looking at you), well, you can fuck off. At least until 5pm.