Sorry, the above headline was supposed to read, “Miami Thrice Renders Heat Ticket Sellers Surplus To Requirements”. The Miami Herald’s Douglas Hanks explains :

In a statement, the Heat confirmed the dismissals of their entire season ticketing department Friday afternoon, saying that with an “exhausted” inventory of season-tickets “we no longer require a season ticket sales team to sell tickets.”

Stephen Weber, vice president of sales, delivered the news to about 30 ticket sales people Friday morning, according to one of the staffers who asked not to be named because he is seeking another job in sports.

Even when James was merely rumored to be heading for the Heat, the team saw an explosion in season ticket sales. The staffer said he and his colleagues were making cold calls to prospective customers and taking deposits for a waiting list that now has more than 6,000 names on it. The dismissals reflect the new Heat position in basketball: it can sell tickets without really trying.

“They let us go because there was really nothing left to do anymore,” the fired staffer said.

Why stop at the schulbs in the sales department? No one on earth knows more about certain coaches only needing to roll the balls out at practice in order to win a ring than Pat Riley — who’s to say Erik Spoelstra isn’t next?