American males have already been graced with sage advice from Will Leitch on how to cope with the psychic toll of knowing your girlfriend isn’t a virgin (yes, men over the age of 12, sometimes girls have sex with people other than themselves and it isn’t a very big deal). Only slightly less difficult to relate to is the four point plan on How To Get Some (not with that title, of course) by Tim Marchman in this week’s New York Press.
First, don™t dress to impress. I own seven different pairs of the same pants, my shirts run the gamut from blue to blue and I wear a smelly œbaseball cap everywhere.
Second, ignore everything that™s going on around you. The only time I go out alone is to review shows. When I do that, I pay attention to the band and write in a notebook. Apparently”and would to God I™d known this when I was 19”this is like roast beef in the pound.
Third, make it clear that you don™t want anyone violating your position and mutter audibly about your personal space.
Fourth”and this is the really important part”prominently display your wedding ring.