Perhaps the Hooded Casanova’s reign as King Shit isn’t quite finished. A week after boring a national TV audience to death in a ghastly home loss to Denver, New England’s running game tore Cincy apart. Laurence Maroney flashed a Corey Dillion-esque stiff arm enroute to a 125 yard, 2 TD day, while Dillion (67 yards on 17 carries, one touchdown) earned a measure of revenge against his former club. Renee Caldwell gets the game ball, as far as I’m concerned. His success in drawing a crucial Smear The Queer penalty in the 3rd quarter was the big momentum shift.
An inauspicious startin gdebut for Vince Young, a bit of a turn back-the-clock afternoon for Drew Bledsoe…and as for Terry Glenn? Well, you had to hear Parcells’ version of Charles Aznavour’s “She” during the postgame press conference to believe it.
Bob Costas has described Albert Haynesworth’s ill-advised stomping on the face of Andre Gurode as “borderline assault.” I can hear someone screaming “there was nothing borderline about it,” but if Marcus Vick can’t keep it down, I’m gonna have to tell him to spend his Sunday night somewhere else.
Colts 31, Jets 28
For a guy who can’t win the big one, Peyton Manning is unmatched at winning the little ones. And just as adept at getting Indy’s kick return team off the hook (who’d have thought the biggest thing they’d miss about the Liquored Up Kicker was his open field tackling ability?)
Though I’ve been dumping on Eric Mangini since his hiring, I’ve got to give credit where due. I totally underestimated Gang Green. Not the Jets mind you, I mean Chris Doherty’s old band. The later records are pretty bad, but “Kill A Commie” has aged surprisingly well.
Rams 41, Lions 34
For once, I really have to hand it to Roy Williams. The entire world knows how close Detroit came to putting up 40.
I’m pretty sure they went to all that trouble to bring Daunte Culpepper to Miami just to have Ronnie Brown throwing the ball with the game on the line. Major cheers around the ‘hood today when Mario Williams collected his first sack. Not from Sam Bowie, mind you, he still thinks Williams was the worst pick ever.
Chiefs 41, 49ers 0
Damon Huard’s waited 10 years for a day like today. But enough about Jason Whitlock’s AOL debut, when do you think the Bay Area might get an NFL franchise?
Brenda W. of Mesa, AZ writes in, stressing that Arizona’s starting QB deserves some credit for his sole TD pass of the day. So what if it was to D’Angelo Hall. Jerious Norwood and Michael Vick each had 100 yards on the ground, and last Monday’s Katrina telethon disguised as a game aside, the Falcons’ D hasn’t allowed a touchdown all season.
Da Bears and Thomas Jones are pounding away at the Seahawks, holding a 19-3 lead with 3:49 left in the first half. Matt Hasselbeck has been picked off twice by Ricky Manning. If this is this best Seattle’s QB can muster, my “Revenge Of The Nerds” headline will have to wait for another occasion.