Attention, Phil Mushnick. Under no circumstances can you allow your family to read about this.

From the Charlotte Observer :

Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested early Sunday morning at a Tampa nightclub.

According to a police report the two cheerleaders were arrested after an incident at Banana Joe’s in the city’s Channelside district at 2:10 a.m. One cheerleader was charged with battery, the other with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

The police report claims the two cheerleaders were having sex with each other in a stall at the bar when other patrons got angry they were taking so long in the bathroom.

The police report identified the cheerleaders by name, but there is some uncertainty about their identities tonight.

One cheerleader and another person started arguing and the cheerleader hit that person in the face, according to the report. The other cheerleader was escorted from Banana Joe’s and the police report said she was so drunk she could barely stand and described her as rude and belligerent with police.

The very responsible people at Fox Sports have identified Kristen Owen and Angela Keathley as the cheerleaders in question. I’d gladly post their photographs, but trust me, the CSTB bandwidth bill is high enough as is, and I’m pretty confident you can find this sort of thing yourself.