[pictured, the last three remaining Americans who didn’t know Bonds took steroids, on learning the news yesterday.]

Evidence unsealed in court against former SF Giant Barry Bonds shows he tested positive for steroids and taking female fertility drugs to mask them (Gerard, I need a “San Francisco” joke on female fertility drugs by 6AM, don’t let me down).  Taped phone calls, DNA, the latest in medical testing results were all part of the government’s case, altho millions of baseball fans saying “no shit” in 2000-2007 were not admitted as key witness statements.  No doubt the Patriot Act and military drone planes were used to track Bonds’ every move in this time period.  Unfortunately, President Bush is no longer in office to see the fruits of this intense effort come to light.

The government’s move against Bonds now places the Guaranteed First Ballot Hall of Famer Veterans Committee Is His Only Chance in Hell for the Hall all-time home run king slightly ahead of Roger Clemens for the first MLB perjury conviction of 2009.  What always gives Clemens the edge in this race is his insistence on speaking on his behalf.  No doubt he will answer the Bonds development by demanding a lie detector test for himself and his injected buttocks.  As of yesterday, the argument now moves on to what evidence the court will allow in trial.  The Kansas City Star reports the following unpleasantness:

U.S. District Judge Susan Illston will hear arguments today on what to allow jurors to hear.

One issue is whether Illston will allow jurors to hear tape-recordings of a conversation between Bonds™ personal trainer Greg Anderson and Steve Hoskins, Bonds™ personal assistant, in 2003. The transcript of that conversation detailed how Anderson moved injection sites all over Bonds™ body so it wouldn™t create a cyst where the steroid was injected.

Anderson has been jailed several times for refusing to answer questions before a grand jury and will not be at the trial. Bonds™ attorneys argued that none of Anderson™s statements outside of court should be admissible.

The tape-recording was secretly made by Hoskins because Hoskins wanted to prove to Bonds™ father, Bobby Bonds, that his son was using steroids.

Bonds™ lawyers also moved to suppress 24 drug tests from 2000-06; more than two dozen drug calendars; BALCO log sheets; handwritten notes; opinion evidence on steroids, human growth hormone, THG, EPO and Clomid; witness descriptions of Bonds™ œphysical, behavioral and emotional characteristics ” including acne on his back, testicle shrinkage, head size, hat size, hand size, foot size and sexual behavior ” recorded conversations that didn™t include Bonds; and voice mails allegedly left by Bonds on the answering machine of former girlfriend Kimberly Bell.