Red Sox 8, Mariners 8 (top of the 9th)

After allowing a big, fat gopher ball to V-Tek, Seattle’s J.J. Putz considers that a) they’re gonna have to change the score over his head, b) he can feel Eddie Guardado’s sticking pins into his head all the way from Cincinnati and c) it’s all well and good to organize a Shannon Hoon Hoot Night, but if you don’t send out any invitations, the bar’s gonna be pretty empty.

On the matter of voodoo, David Wright — recently revealed to be into all kinds of wild shit — might’ve gotten even with Coco Crisp today.

(UPDATE : Mariners 9, Red Sox 8. Mike Timlin-a-throwing, Richie Sexson-a-swingin’. Boom boom, out go the lights, Robin Trower vinyl available for a buck or less all over this great land of ours.)

The how-can-they-be-in-first-place Giants squandered a chance to put some distance between themselves and the rest of the exceedingly average NL West earlier today, when Armando Benitez allowed a 9th inning HR to the Padres’ performance enhancing drug abuser Terrmel Sledge. San Diego and San Francisco are tied at 5 in the 11th, and the Sultan Of Surly has long since departed, perhaps to take Selena Roberts’ implied advice and purchase a house for Greg Anderson.

(K-Rod celebrates his 25th save by blatantly mocking Carlos Zambrano)

Wevie Stonder II collected his 7th win versus zero losses, as the Angels beat the Royals, 3-1. Not to be outdone, the AL’s other terrific rookie pitcher (who should’ve been starting back in April), Francisco Lirano and a quartet of Twins relievers combined for 17 K’s in the Twins’ 3-1 defeat of the Indians.

Minnesota have announced plans to give away replica Joe Mauer sideburns at their August 10 game against Toronto. On a similar tip, the PCL’s Round Rock Express will be giving away a bag of Joe McEwing’s pubic hair this Tuesday night, in a promotion euphamistically titled “Christmas In July”.