(Sam’s big brother Phil would like a word with these Sports Illustrated comedians)
The Toronto Raptors have yet to tip-off the regular season and they’re already receiving major recognition. Sort of. The Toronto Sun’s Steve Buffrey explains.
The Sports Illustrated website (SI.com) has come up with an all-poison NBA team and two Raptors made the list, head coach Sam Mitchell and forward/guard Jalen Rose.
SI.com contributor Paul Forrester included Rose on the list with this explanation: “Rose has made a career out of playing the hired gun, imported by teams so desperate for additional offence that they were willing to hide their eyes at his statue-like defence. Those teams also share a willingness to unload Rose and his salary-cap choking contract at the first nibble.”
As for Mitchell, Forrester added: “Who better to coach the most dysfunctional team we could dream up than a coach who reportedly regularly challenged his own players to fight him last season?”
To be fair, Mitchell denied ever “wrestling” Vince Carter or wanting to go after Rafer Alston, although nobody with the Raptors probably would have blamed him if he had. As for the Carter incident, the Toronto journalist who reported it lost his job shortly after.
Mitchell claimed that he never saw the article in SI.com, but was not amused.
“A smart man, (Raptors’) Wayne Embry, always told me never dignify a stupid question,” Mitchell said yesterday, when asked about the report.
Someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but is the NBA the only sport that SI did an ‘all poison’ team for? Did they do one for the NHL a few weeks back?
And what a list it is: Is Chris Webber really THAT poisonous? He’s cranky and talks like someone who should’ve had Karl Malone’s career, but poisonous? Are you poisonous just because you’re not as good as you think you are?
And what about the oversimplification about Carlos Boozer ‘bamboozling a blind man’?
Christ, it’s not like he stole pencils from some blind guys cup on a street corner. And I’m sure Gordon Gund earned those millions by selling rainbow dreams and hot fudge sundaes. Business is business, except this time a player won out over an owner. Picking on an athlete for getting rich in 2005 is more lame than anything.
But Iverson is on the all poison team? Fuck you, SI. Iverson is who he is – a young black guy – but he’s as tough and determined as anyone in the history of the league. Mistaking his young black maleness for being poisonous is being deliberately vicious.
And of the thirteen lucky players on the list, everyone was of color. Where’s serial complainer Wally Szczerbiak? Or slovenly paycheck thief Greg Ostertag? Kobe makes the list, but Phil Jackson – who quit on his team, blamed their Finals loss on officiating, then stabbed everyone in the back in a tell-all book before coming back for another cash grab – isnt on it?
TH
No White Chocolate on the list, either.
How about some poison owners or GM’s for the list?