If you’re one of the delusional persons who took solace in 7-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemens’ acquittal on federal perjury charges yesterday, I’m sorry to say there’s some very dark news concerning another sporting icon’s dalliance with illegal substances.  The Philadelphia Daily News’ William Bender reports Wing Bowl fixture William “El Wingador” Simmons has been charged with distribution of cocaine. If you think that’s a somewhat flimsy topic for a CSTB post, you have no idea how hard it was to resist a headline reading, “Bill Simmons Finally Brought To Justice”. (link courtesy Jon Solomon)

Simmons, 50, of Woodbury Heights, was busted Friday and charged with 1st-degree drug distribution when police found approximately $8,000 worth of powdered cocaine and $4,000 in cash in his 2010 Kia Soul, cops said.

Nothing else of note was found in the car, which had a “El Wingador” vehicle wrap, said Lt. Stephen Jones.

“Wouldn’t you love some wings or sauce? But no, not that I know of,” Jones said.

Simmons, who has won five Wing Bowl titles, finished third in this year’s event after eating 250 wings. He finished second in 2011 after downing 254 wings, losing by one wing to Super Squibb.

“It is regrettable that Mr. Simmons’ notoriety has taken a negative turn,” said Gloucester County Prosecutor Sean F. Dalton. “However, the Gloucester County Prosecutor’s Office works closely with other law enforcement agencies to stop the significant distribution of controlled dangerous substances that is reflected in the charges against him.”