(if the game’s called off, there’s always room at the table for one more)

Marc Perlman writes from Dennis Rodman’s fave town, Salt Lake City.

I just trekked 11 blocks from my hotel to catch a SLC Bees game.

They let me buy a ticket for $10, buy 2 beers, sit behind homeplate, and wait 47 minutes after start time… to announce the game was canceled due to YESTERDAY’S rain.

I don’t know who the SLC Bees think they are, but I hope the Express and Joe McEwing pound their asses in the PCL championship.

Well, Marc, I’ll tell you who the SLC Bees are. They’re the Triple A affiliate of the Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. They’ve been a member in good standing of the Pacific Coast League. They’re currently owned by Larry Miller (above). Recent alumni include Wevie Stonder II.

The team is based in SLC (punk), the Metropolis formed in 1847 by the Latter-Day Saints. Said religious group (the United States’ fourth largest) once endorsed the practice of polygamy. Today, multiple marriages are frowned upon, even if they’d result in a man having Jeannie Tripplehorn and Chloe Sevingy under one roof.

So that’s who the Salt Lake City Bees are, Mr. Perlman. They’re a bush league baseball team, owned by a homophobic fuckhead, performing for sparse crowds of reformed polygamists. And to use your own words on the subject, FUCK THE SLC BEES.