There are some Two-way words, like it’s okay for Curt Gowdy to say ‘Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.’ But he can’t say, ‘I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don’t you? He’s holding them. He must have hurt them by God.’

– “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television”

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! – I hope I’ll be safe at home.

– “Baseball – Football”

George Carlin, R.I.P.

Update: Was about to add a partial score joke, but I see Salon’s King Kaufman is also still awake.