Brewers 5, Mets 5 (bottom of the 9th)

Perhaps you’re baffled by the overnight career revivial of Mets utility IF/OF Jose Valentin.  Last night, his HR, double, 4 RBI performance  was crucial in the Mets’ 9-8 victory, and this afternoon, he’s 3-4 with another pair of ribbies.

I’ve been informed by a very good source that Valentin’s unexpected revival is not what it appears to be, however.  Using the same sort of minor plastic surgery that enabled actor Tom Bosley to fill in for David Doyle during the latter’s salary dispute on “Charlie’s Angels” (Viswanathan alert : this joke is swiped from an old SNL sketch), the man masquerading as Valentin over the past 48 hours is in fact, another veteran with a far more impressive resume.

I know, there is the little matter of Valentin being right-handed and Raffy being a lefty. But there’s all kinds of amazing stuff they can do in surgery these days.

On a similar tip, perhaps it wasn’t a great idea for the Brewers to give Derek Turnbow the weekend off and attempt to pass off Bobby Gillespie as their closer.