Brewers 5, Mets 5 (bottom of the 9th)
Perhaps you’re baffled by the overnight career revivial of Mets utility IF/OF Jose Valentin. Last night, his HR, double, 4 RBI performance was crucial in the Mets’ 9-8 victory, and this afternoon, he’s 3-4 with another pair of ribbies.
I’ve been informed by a very good source that Valentin’s unexpected revival is not what it appears to be, however. Using the same sort of minor plastic surgery that enabled actor Tom Bosley to fill in for David Doyle during the latter’s salary dispute on “Charlie’s Angels” (Viswanathan alert : this joke is swiped from an old SNL sketch), the man masquerading as Valentin over the past 48 hours is in fact, another veteran with a far more impressive resume.
I know, there is the little matter of Valentin being right-handed and Raffy being a lefty. But there’s all kinds of amazing stuff they can do in surgery these days.
On a similar tip, perhaps it wasn’t a great idea for the Brewers to give Derek Turnbow the weekend off and attempt to pass off Bobby Gillespie as their closer.
After watching Jose “The Worst Baseball Player Ever” Valentin in Chicago for a number of years, I think I can safely assure Mets fans that he will go 0-fer the next 100 with 97 K’s.
I dunno. He was on my fantasy team one year and he hit a lot of dingers. His average really sucked, though.
valentin used to hit a decent amount of dingers (for a shortstop), but his complete lack of ability in every other aspect of the game was quite bothersome.
Valentin’s actually a switch-hitter, of course.
Valentin might be a switch hitter, but he throws right-handed. Raffy, hits and throws as a lefty. I stand uncorrected.