Bud Light : I’ve already forgotten the one with Cedric The Entertainer,but I’m presuming it involved beer theft or leering at ladies or both. The spot featuring the pilot jumping out of the plane after the 6-pack was tossed, however, was great stuff, exactly the sort of family entertainment this year’s Super Bowl was all about. What could be funnier than a couple of sky-divers + beer obsessed pilot plummeting to their deaths? Grade : C+
Diet Pepsi : Self-parody or not, any attempt to portray Sean Combs as a trend-setter is about 8 years too late. Grade : D-
“The Pacifier” : I think it is a little early in Vin Diesel’s career trajectory for the mainstream comedy crossover. Much funnier than this ad (or the film itself) would be watching Dice Clay’s reaction to it. Grade : D
Ameriquest : Hands-free cellphone yapper suffers massive beatdown at the hands of convenience store owners. A scenario we can all relate to and easily the best advertisement out of a very poor lot. Grade : B
Fed Ex : Incredibly, an ad featuring Burt Reynolds being kicked in the groin by a dancing bear is not very good. Grade : C
Quiznos : Aren’t these spots somewhat reminiscent of CBS’ short-lived “Baby Bob”? Which is to say, aren’t they creepy, repulsive and dumber than Michael Irvin? Grade : D
Anheiser Busch : What’s the deal with everyone in the train station giving a standing ovation to a big gang of men & women on their way to a paintball game? From the same pandering motherfuckers who brought you the monumentally offensive Clydesdales-genuflecting-in-the-shadow-of-Ground-Zero ad. Grade : F.
“The Longest Yard” : On the bright side, unlike the excruciating UK remake (retitled “The Mean Machine”), this one will not feature the dubious acting skills of Vinnie Jones. On the other hand, if its a choice between Chris Rock and Vinnie Jones, I’m gonna take the ex-Wimbledon thug every time. Grade : C+
it is, actually, baby bob in those quizno’s spots.
apparently, someone was inspired to rescue baby bob, no doubt because rescuing babies — especially those that have a grizzled old-man voice — can be heroic. from a slate column on the ad:
“It seems the character — or rather, the rights to the character — were sitting around, gathering dust, at a Los Angeles ad agency called Siltanen and Partners. Agency chairman Rob Siltanen tells me he’d been keeping Baby Bob up his sleeve, waiting for the right time to unleash him in an ad campaign.
Enter Quiznos. The sub chain had dropped its old agency and was looking for a spokesman (or spokesthing) to craft a whole new campaign around. Siltanen pitched Baby Bob, and Quiznos went for it. The driving concept? Bob craves Quiznos food but, having no molars, cannot eat it. The campaign will mine this dramatic conflict.”
here’s hoping baby bob makes a cross-promotional appearance in ‘the pacifier,’ which i keep calling ‘the pamperer’ by accident.
I’m not sure which is lamer, that the character has been regurgitated or that I remembered the ads from a show I never saw.
Baby Bob would no doubt injure his mouth and gums on a Quizno’s “oven-toasted” bun. I know that the one time I tried eating one of those things (at the Livingston St. location in downtown Brooklyn — hello, fellow potential jurors), I had to soak the whole sandwich in a Dr. Pepper to get it down.
if disturbing characters from failed sitcoms are tomorrow’s pitchmen, perhaps there’s still hope for Jake Busey and any bits from wardrobe that he swiped from the set of “Shasta McNasty”
I wonder what Scott Bakula is up to. I’ll bet there’s a sweet deal in the air to advertise something if the seedy, old-man-office set of “Eisenhower & Lutz” is still standing.
What kind of softie can’t eat a Quizno’s sub? It’s not like it’s made out of rocks. Dig deep, my friend – these are the things that build character.
Made out of stale bread, mon frere — that’s why they toast ’em. Also, that hot sauce they push is for children. Maybe it only works after the sub roll cuts your gums and the roof of your mouth open.
You might be eating at a rogue restaurant – are you sure it’s a Quizno’s? Not like Kennedy Fried Chicken or something? Maybe a Quizmo’s. Check that sign out front. Or look at your sub card.
Tom
Why doesn’t Blimpie get on its game and make this a three-horse race? They could get that vulgar talking couch-sitting rabbit-puppet from Unhappily Ever After.
And speaking of babies, whatever happened to the internet/Ally McBeal dancing baby? That thing was SO CUTE. Screw Jared, Subway, and get to it.