(Jim Sorgi, far left, contemplates that great scene in “Showgirls” in which Gina Gershon breaks her hip)

Bears 7, Colts 0 (14:46 remaining, first quarter)

Indy might wanna think about kicking off in some general direction further away from Devin Hester. A squib, perhaps. Full credit to the Onion, by the way, for predicting the Bears would put Rex Grossman on their back.

I have an easier time believing Martha Stewart would give Reggie Bush a shopping list than buying the notion of Ocho Cinco being buddies with Rascal Flats. Not that Chad’s incapable of bad taste, but if he has to address them by name in the ad, they clearly aren’t famous enough (unlike say, Janet Reno). And while we’re all looking forward to the K-Fed spot, who’d have thought Pepsi would bring back Jimmy Fallon?