It’s been one heck of a past 48 hours in the world of people looking-to-make-a-name for themselves, and even Jason Whitlock would be taken aback at the levels of mutual masturbation back scratching taking place in public.

1) To commemorate Will Leitch’s invasion of my adopted hometown in less than two weeks, the Spicy Crunchwrap Supreme Eating M.F. is introduced by the Austin Chronicle’s Shawn Badgely as “Brooklyn’s Answer To Bristol”

AC: Have you gotten a sense of any resentment on the part of the traditional sports media?

WL: It basically depends on whether people have a sense of humor about themselves. I find it amazing that anyone could possibly get offended by anything that anyone writes on the Web about them. It’s the Web. If you Google “Will Leitch” right now, the first thing that comes up is “Will Leitch Sucks.” You’re going to get ripped on.

While I do find it sad that such an innovative, hardworking young man would inspire so much petty jealousy, can the prominent placement of “Will Leitch Sucks” on Google really be blamed on the traditional media?

Though I do hope Will enjoys his stay in Austin, I do think it is worth noting that New Jersey’s suddenly MIA expert on race relations / cock sizes had previously threatened a visit to the Texas capitol this very month. Given the latter’s sudden disappearance and his deep, unrequited love for Mr. Leitch, I think SXSW security ought to be on red alert. I fear we’ve got a potential Mark David Chapman on our hands.

2) ” What are you doing next Wednesday evening? If you’re a sports blog geek in New York, you really should be at the Happy Ending Lounge,” insists True Hoop’s Henry Abbott.

Funnily enough, I’ll be in New York next Wednesday evening. And at the risk of pissing on someone else’s good times, as impressed as some of you might be that the guy from With Leather knows how to read, the prospect of watching him “read from his work” doesn’t exactly get the blood pumping. In short, if you take a date to this event, if might be your last one.

3) Dan Shanoff and Jamie Motramm have selected their “Top Most Influential Sports Bloggers”. Though I must admit I’m a little surprised Will Leitch wasn’t named numbers 1 through 20, many of the selections seem legit enough (save for that Sp-rts By Br–ks fuckwad, who is neither interesting as a writer nor as a budding pornographer). However, when 6 of the 20 are either AOL Fanhouse comrades of Motramm’s or employees of Gawker Media (and none of ’em have vaginas!), I think it is fair to say the jury needs to broaden their range a tad.

Though I’d like to sincerely thank whoever protested to Shanoff and Mottram that I was excluded from this elite list, it does sort of suck they couldn’t bother to remember my full name. But really, Mom, Dad, that’s what Google and Wikipedia are for.