Countless viewers across New England have swooned over the good looks and all-around journalistic chops of WHDH’s Matt Lorch, and surely some of those fans have wondered (perhaps seconds before ejaculating), “where exactly did this multitalented young man come from?”

I really don’t mean to give Lorch a hard time over a bad day suffered ages ago. After all, Tom Ellis had worse moments like this much further into his career, sadly before anyone had the presence of mind to save it for YouTube.