With yesterday’s conviction of Orenthal James Simpson on kidnapping and armed robbery charges — dude skates on double murder but could serve life for stealing autographed footballs, nice — let’s consider the real victims in this American tragedy. The families of Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman? Simpson’s children? Nope, instead, I’ll submit the persons most likely to suffer are the writers, producers and host of “The Jim Rome Show”.
A long stretch in the clink effectively removes Simpson from the public eye, and could well ring the death knell for a radio show short on material and long on repetition. Sure, the guilty verdict probably gives Rome a few days of lame “prison bitch” jibes or perhaps questions about the DirecTV reception in a maximum security facility. But we’re talking about the crumbs from a 14 year buffet of O.J. jokes. No more “searching for the real killer on the back nine” laffs. There won’t be any trips to Oxford or USC practices in the near future, and with this in mind, Rome must be praying for something sensational to happen to (take your pick) Monica Lewinsky, David Beckham, Britney Spears or Dennis Rodman in the near future.
When O.J. made the ill-advised decision in Las Vegas to recover memorabilia thru the use of force, he probably had no idea he’d be making his most significant contribution to improving popular culture since “The Naked Gun” trilogy. While fucking with Rome’s steady gig hardly mitigates the butchery of two people, it comes awfully close.