(Wilson Chandler and close friend, ready to celebrate your becoming a man/woman, and/or sell you a G-III jacket)

Prior to researching this entry, I wasn’t aware Kirk Douglas had a 2nd bar mitzvah at the age of 83. And while I’m sure it was a joyous occasion (especially if Eric Douglas wasn’t invited), imagine how hot the party would’ve been had it taken place at the NBA Store. (link courtesy Rebuilding Year).

Though I’m sure the above scheme strikes some of as you overly commercial, rest assured the Association had carefully ruled out other money-spinning initiatives. The NBA doesn’t have nearly enough liability insurance to allow John Starks to perform a bris, nor did David Stern think it advisable to offer Bill Walton’s services to lonely, grieving families looking for additional bodies to sit shivah.