(EDITOR’S NOTE : folks keep circulating that silly Buzzfeed “How Much Of A Music Snob R You?” quiz circa 2014, and I only scored a 59 out of 100. That’s a pretty fucking mediocre score considering I’m one of questions, and I will KNIFE FIGHT anyone who challenges my snob credentials, musical or otherwise. But let’s face it, the quiz is ridiculous — LOTS of non-snobs have purchased import titles or can identity John Peel.
So with that in mind, I’ve prepared a “THIS IS HOW MUCH OF A MUSIC SNOB YOU ARE (YOU FUCKING SNOB)” quiz that I’m certain will set the internet aflame and probably result in my server company (finally) giving me the boot later today. I’d say it was nice knowing you, but that would be a lie – GC)
HAVE YOU EVER…
Stopped fucking someone because you found a DMB CD in their house?
Told a prospective employer and/or parents of a fiancee they were total morons because they didn’t know which member of Bush was in Transvision Vamp?
Told a member of Transvision Vamp they were a total moron?
Spent a wake flipping through the deceased’s record collection?
Masturbated to discogs.com?
Told a Holocaust survivor, “at least you didn’t have to go to Burgerama”?
Compared Burgerama to Record Store Day?
Launched an unsuccessful Kickstarter to fund a Dylan Cohl doc?
Started a gofundme to finance a Dave Bass doc (and used the money to buy records for yourself)?
Repeatedly friended/defriended Henry Owings just to try and get his attention?
Possessed a driver’s license or birth certificate featuring the name “Ned Hayden”?
Refused to pose for a photo with George Wendt because he likes Buffalo Tom?
Heard the opening notes to “Rhiannon” and immediately started thinking about The Rotters?
sold Todd Benzinger a Skrewdriver record on eBay (NOT AN EARLY ONE, EITHER) and then ratted him out online?
Found whoever was responsible for some “musical guilty pleasures” clickbait/slideshow and planted shit on their computer making it appear as though they were plotting to blow up a government facility? (TOP THAT, MR. ROBOT)
Disowned one of your own children for posting the H.R./Brooke Shields pic weeks after everyone else did?
Refused to write about food and/or write appointment TV recaps simply because you’re terrible at transitioning into adulthood?
If you answered “yes” to one or more of the above, you are absolutely a music snob. If you answered “no” to any of the above, I don’t know what your problem is and really can’t relate to you at all.