White Sox 7, Royals 5

On an evening in which Ambiorix Burgos out sucked Matt Thornton, dare any of us mere mortals imagine the party taking place inside the tights of The Soxman?

Boston placed C Jason Varitek on the 15 day DL Tuesday, after he suffered a knee injury running the bases during Monday’s win over Cleveland. The Red Sox recalled Ken Huckaby from Pawtucket, much as they’re probably recalling the time last spring when they had yet to trade away Kelly Shoppach.

Cole (not Hamels) and Pujols (not Albert) were amongst the 7 minor leaguers suspended for 50 games Tuesday by MLB for violation of the substance abuse policy (that doesn’t test for HGH). Eagle-eyes Bob Timmerman of The Baseball Griddle noticed that USC safety Brandon Ting left the Trojans following a positive steroid test. Ting’s father, observes Timmerman, is Dr. Arthur Ting, a practicioner whose most famous patient is noted reality television star Barry Bonds.

Astros prospect Jason Hirsh, mentioned in many trade rumors over the past month, ran his ’06 record to 13-2 after holding Sacramento hitless in his first five innings of work Tuesday night. Round Rock beat the A’s Triple A affiliate River Cats, 6-3 at the Christ-fearing Dell Diamond. Express 3B Cody Ransom hit a grand slam in the 4th inning, his 15th HR of the season.