Maura Johnston sounds the alarm :
.next tuesday on letterman: lindsay lohan and chris ‘mad dog’ russo.
i hope his shrieks don’t shatter her fragile bones
Awesome. My Tivo is set on “stun”. I understand Russo is a big fan of the original “Herbie” movie, so he and Lindsay should have a lot to talk about in the green room. She likes to throw up. The sound of his voice makes WFAN listeners vomit. And who knows? Lohan might be looking for a father figure type, what with her (alleged) canoodling with Bruce Willis and her real life dad in and out of jail. Much in the way the young Katie Holmes has taken a shine to the 101% heterosexual Tom Cruise, perhaps the Mad Dog could be both paramour and mentor?
Now that the word “canoodling” has appeared in CSTB, I am going outside to shoot myself.
So long as you don’t use ‘snogging,’ ‘hotspot,’ or ‘pop tart.’ Unless you’re eating a toaster pastry while checking your wireless Internet and, uh, what the hell does ‘snogging’ mean anyway?
“Snogging” is “eskimo kissing, but with snot.”
A more sports appropriate term would be “tonsil hockey”, followed by “he shoots, he scores” should things progress.