White Sox, you blew a five-run lead to get swept and lose first place. This time the guilty parties were not named Dotel, Wasserman, Richard, MacDougal or Logan. Orlando Cabrera, you talked a lot of shit. And you weren’t wrong. You’re an asshole, but you weren’t wrong. Confidential to Bobby Jenks and AJ: in the future, you might want to look into the possibilities of the 1-2 curve ball. Alexei, Dye, Thome, Konerko? Yeah, the season continues in September.
Oh, and speaking of Todd Jones: Carlos Gomez? You may well be the next Rickey Henderson, but that sniffing, nuzzling, batters-box intimacy with your equipment is completely unnecessary in this post-Stonewall era. You’re just not shocking anybody.
So what happens when you’re a baseball team that never gets what you deserve — and you deserve second place?
The possible AL Central outcomes for the Chisox are bewildering, although none includes Juan Uribe picking up his boat. The following helpful table is provided to guide the faithful through the matrix.
Courtesy of the Chicago Tribune:
|If Twins win…||If White Sox win…||This happens|
|3 games||3 games||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
|3 games||2 games||Twins win Central|
|3 games||1 game||Twins win Central|
|3 games||0 games||Twins win Central|
|2 games||3 games||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
|2 games||2 games||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
|2 games||1 game||Twins win Central|
|2 games||0 games||Twins win Central|
|1 game||3 games||Sox win Central|
|1 game||2 games||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
|1 game||1 game||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
|1 game||0 games||Twins win Central|
|0 games||3 games||Sox win Central|
|0 games||2 games||Sox win Central|
|0 games||1 game||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
|0 games||0 games||Sox play Detroit on Monday|
If it turns out that the Sox must play Detroit on Monday in Chicago, there are four possible outcomes:
¢ If Sox go in 1/2 game ahead and win, Sox win Central.
¢ If Sox go in 1/2 game ahead and lose, Sox play Minnesota on Tuesday.
¢ If Sox go in 1/2 game behind and win, Sox play Minnesota on Tuesday.
¢ If Sox go in 1/2 game behind and lose, Twins win Central.