In the spirit of good sportsmanship, I extend sincere congratulations to the New York Yankees, their fans, the long suffering Joe Torre….and Gary Sheffield’s little mustache.
Yesterday afternoon at Fenway, I could feel the goodwill in the air. Somebody in the Gents’ expressed a desire that the Red Sox and Yankees would meet again in the ALCS. Then he expressed another sort of desire and I had to call the police. But it’s the thought that counts.
And seriously folks, as we come to the conclusion of a terrific baseball season, civility is all the rage. I saw a busker in Kenmore Square wearing a t-shirt that read “Yankees Aren’t That Great (my other shirt is in the wash)”.
One of my favorite ways to pass the time at Fenway is to play the time honored Boston yack machine game, “Drunk, Really Old Or Just Retarded?” It’s a little contest that I entertain myself with each time my ears are assaulted with the trenchant analysis of the would-be Eddie Andelmans that populate the alleged Temple Of Baseball. “Wakefield’s problem is that he never pitches with confidence!” exclaimed one of Northeastern University’s best & brightest. “The guy fucking lacks confidence.”
Today’s putrid display aside (the gopher ball to Alex Rodriguez was supposedly a 60 mph curve, but the pitch hung up there long enough for number 13 to personally assist MLB’s licensing department in confiscating all the “Jeter Sucks, A-Rod Swallows” t-shirts), Tim Wakefield is so lacking confidence that he’s only managed to become the most accomplished knuckleballer of his generation. I’m thinking about ear plugs tomorrow.
A visit to the Twins Co.’s Yawkee Way Souvenir Shop revealed that Bill Simmons, the halfwit whose acolytes put the “ill” in illiterate, was signing copies of “Now I Can Die In Peace”. Or at least he was before I turned up. By 1pm, the autograph seekers had long since dispersed, leaving Simmons to field some tough questions from a couple of guys who were rocking the Jeff Garlin look.
I thought about documentating this z-list celeb sighting, but then decided that even annoying public figures deserve their privacy.
Of course, that was before Simmons chose to make a threatening gesture towards me as I was entering the ballpark.