In the spirit of good sportsmanship, I extend sincere congratulations to the New York Yankees, their fans, the long suffering Joe Torre….and Gary Sheffield’s little mustache.
Yesterday afternoon at Fenway, I could feel the goodwill in the air. Somebody in the Gents’ expressed a desire that the Red Sox and Yankees would meet again in the ALCS. Then he expressed another sort of desire and I had to call the police. But it’s the thought that counts.
And seriously folks, as we come to the conclusion of a terrific baseball season, civility is all the rage. I saw a busker in Kenmore Square wearing a t-shirt that read “Yankees Aren’t That Great (my other shirt is in the wash)”.
One of my favorite ways to pass the time at Fenway is to play the time honored Boston yack machine game, “Drunk, Really Old Or Just Retarded?” It’s a little contest that I entertain myself with each time my ears are assaulted with the trenchant analysis of the would-be Eddie Andelmans that populate the alleged Temple Of Baseball. “Wakefield’s problem is that he never pitches with confidence!” exclaimed one of Northeastern University’s best & brightest. “The guy fucking lacks confidence.”
Today’s putrid display aside (the gopher ball to Alex Rodriguez was supposedly a 60 mph curve, but the pitch hung up there long enough for number 13 to personally assist MLB’s licensing department in confiscating all the “Jeter Sucks, A-Rod Swallows” t-shirts), Tim Wakefield is so lacking confidence that he’s only managed to become the most accomplished knuckleballer of his generation. I’m thinking about ear plugs tomorrow.
A visit to the Twins Co.’s Yawkee Way Souvenir Shop revealed that Bill Simmons, the halfwit whose acolytes put the “ill” in illiterate, was signing copies of “Now I Can Die In Peace”. Or at least he was before I turned up. By 1pm, the autograph seekers had long since dispersed, leaving Simmons to field some tough questions from a couple of guys who were rocking the Jeff Garlin look.
I thought about documentating this z-list celeb sighting, but then decided that even annoying public figures deserve their privacy.
Of course, that was before Simmons chose to make a threatening gesture towards me as I was entering the ballpark.
I like to play that “Drunk, Old, Retarded†game myself and here are a few pearls of baseball wisdom I have picked up at games at CBP…”(Abreu) is a lazy spic that only statheads like”….”Its good they got a white guy (Utley) in there (at 2nd base) y’know”…”The problem with this team is that they are a bunch of overpaid crybabies who couldnt handle a guy (Bowa) who really wanted to win”…”I have counted at least 15 games that hillbilly (Manuel) has lost this year†(You mean the Phillies should have won around 103 games this season?). p.s. Ben, I would like to gratefully thank the Cubs for taking the first two games of the series in Houston as it rekindled hope that was all but snuffed out earlier this week and at least has made the final weekend interesting and fun for us Phillies fans. Best to Greg Maddux today and heres hoping our Bounceback Boys have that one last bounce in them
post-mortem- Phils died with their cleats on today, but when you miss the playoffs by one game, theres a whole lot of “what ifs”. The Phils are just one player away from taking it to the next level, unfortunately, that player would be either Dontrelle Willis or Johan Santana.
Cubs tripped on their cleats today. Well, all season, but I gotta hand it to Roy Oswalt on his 20th win.
Go Cards. Go Sox (White).
Ben
Go Sox (White).
ben, i respectfully suggest you eat hot shit. go dark hose.
kt
“Eat hot shit?” This used to be a nice polo blog, now look. Go eat clam chowdah, and fuck Mission of Burma, too.
Big story in the NYr this week on the Tribune Co demoralizing and destroying the LA TIMES as well as the Cubs. These bastards are hunting me down even out here.
Ben