Or from visiting the Cherry Hill Mall, for that matter.To borrow from my Internet friend Stu’s optimistic take, the Philadelphia Phillies have just made a dramatic middle-of-the-season move, picking up overused lefty reliever J.C. Romero well before the trade deadline. That’s because he’s been suspended 50 games. ESPN’s Peter Gammons had the story, which everyone in baseball managed to keep under wraps (somewhat impressively, I’d say) during the playoffs.
Considering it was the first time a banned substance was found in an FDA-regulated, over-the-counter supplement - one available to every major-leaguer and millions of youths - that should have sounded alarms.
Wait, the FDA - the President Bush-era FDA - regulates the supplement industry? Were they doing a good job?
And…
Here is where Patrick Arnold comes in. The man who first brought androstenedione to the U.S. marketplace and was the chemist behind development of THG - the designer steroid distributed by Balco - also runs a major supplement business called ErgoPharm. Arnold created and marketed the supplement Romero was using.
In an e-mail exchange, Arnold said there was nothing in his supplement that should have created a positive drug test.
The Daily News’ Rich Hoffman says the union let its players down (Yankees minor league pitcher Sergio Mitre is also out for 50 games), and quotes from the MLBPA’s letter:
Nothing on the labels of those supplements indicated that they contained a trace amount of a substance prohibited under Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.
But haven’t we already learned a hundred times that labels can’t be trusted (even from such a nonpareil source as Patrick Arnold)?
As usual, neither side looks good - the whole culture is still just as messed up as when McGwire was on andro. Legal or not legal, banned or not banned, performance enhancing vs. workout recovery, amphetamines vs. “five hour energy,” - players are always going to take whatever they can and MLB will always lag behind in its definitions/enforcement/testing ability.
So if you believe that there’s not a huge philosophical gulf between taking HGH or having Lasik surgery, it’s all kind of pointless. Whereas if you believe in the PED bogeyman, then Romero is just as guilty as an Olympian on Sudafed (in fact, two Olympic-sport athletes have already been suspended for this stuff). Which would also mean it’s something of a joke that the appeals process enabled him to play in the World Series. I’m glad he did, of course, since I fall more into the former camp.
Original Stooges guitarist Ron Asheton (above, right, flanked by Niagra) was found dead in his Ann Arbor residence earlier today. Asheton, 60, would be a pivotal enough figure in rock history were his only contribution his playing on the first two Stooges albums, but subsequent stints in New Order, Destroy All Monsters and perhaps most of all, the short lived New Race (alongside Radio Birdman’s Deniz Tek and Rob Younger, along with the MC5’s Dennis Thompson) only enhanced his stature.
It would be an understatement to say we’ve lost a guy whose playing provided a template for huge chunks of any decent record collection. Through the past 6 years, Asheton’s performances with the reunited Stooges became a staple at otherwise dreadful outdoor rock festivals around the world (ATP excepted), and writing as someone who witnessed about a half dozen of ‘em, I consider myself ridiculously fortunate to have seen and heard him play.
(CSTB’s original mascot / copy editor Jack, contemplating the death of traditional media while between classes at St. Edward’s)
I’m crying over here, seriously! As mentioned over the weekend, former Sun-Times columnist / “Around The Horn” beacon of joy Jay Mariotti has jumped on the AOL Fanhouse bandwagon, and not surprisingly, his much of his debut column buries his old place of employment, if not an entire medium. “I’m thrilled to flee the darker corners of the newspaper business, which was reminding me of Marley the dog in his final days,” sneers Mariotti, “just because papers are dying doesn’t mean writers will die with them.”
A week into the Olympics, I was inside The Water Cube That Phelps Built when a voice-mail popped in. It was from the sports editor of the ailing Chicago Sun-Times, asking me to accommodate the newspaper’s Paleozoic-era deadlines by doing something the readers wouldn’t appreciate. He wanted me to write one column that had Michael Phelps winning that day’s race and another column that had him losing. Both would be filed long before the event, which, in some quarters, would be considered an editorial directive to cook up fiction.
I would insert blanks for the finishing times, which a copy editor would fill in, and the bulk would be a lot of jibber-jabber that worked regardless of the result. The editors would decide which column ran based on the outcome. In other words, processed lunch meat for your 50 cents — and it wasn’t the first time. I usually just dealt with these hideous requests. This time, I balked.
“It’s not fair to the readers. They’re getting stale filler when we have time to give them live substance,” I said. What if something dramatic happened that couldn’t be conveyed in the prepackaged pap? What if Phelps had to out-touch a Serbian rival at the wall? What if a teammate bailed him out on a relay? What if his Speedo LZR Racer suit fell off? Didn’t readers need DETAILS in their morning paper, having seen the race? And wasn’t Phelps becoming, um, an American icon, watched by tens of millions each night? If the deadline was 10 p.m. in Chicago and the race would end shortly thereafter, couldn’t we push it a few extra minutes? Why give up?
Naturally, Jay looked across the room and marveled at efficiency of “staff writers from a leading sports website”, this epiphany in Beijing supposedly being the catalyst that led to his resignation from the Sun-Times. Of course, Mariotti would like us to rest assured that he’s “never bought into this ‘mainstream media vs. bloggers’ blood war”.
The best young writers provide compelling takes on sports. The losers wake up each day and attack (choose your ESPN target), an approach that can’t attract much audience beyond a few neurotic souls in sports media. Now hear this: I’m a bit too busy to hate bloggers or, really, anyone but terrorists and certain Illinois politicians. I just think they should be writing about Steve Smith, not Stephen A. Smith.
Presumably, the losers shouldn’t be writing about Jay Mariotti, either. What sort of salaries does the Fanhouse’s new superstar acquisition believe journalists and TV sports personalites would earn if no one bothered to pay attention to their work?
If Texas required a blowout win over a two-loss Ohio State to stake a claim for the AP’s version of the national title, perhaps Monday’s 24-21 come from behind Fiesta Bowl victory won’t be nearly enough. But poll considerations aside, this was every bit as fantastic a game as either of the other 2 BCS victories during Mack Brown’s tenure, and one that burnishes the clutch reputation of Colt McCoy (41-59, two TD’s, one INT, a career high 414 yards) every bit as much as Vince Young’s Rose Bowl triumphs. With all due respect to John Elway and Bernie Kosar, the Longhorns’ game-winning, 78 play Drive ™ that began with 2:05 remaining was the sort we’ll be talking about for years — especially the blown tackle on Quan Cosby that cost the Buckeyes the game.
Even for the neutrals gathered around the Jackalope’s big screens tonight, there was much to marvel at. Though OSU’s Terrell Pryor struggled with Texas’ pass defense, the freshman was a game breaking threat every time he carried the ball. The Buckeyes controlled the line of scrimmage for much of the night on either side of the ball, and had to figure that holding Texas to minus 9 yards rushing in the first half would’ve earned more than a 3 point advantage at intermission. The Longhorns were ridiculously fortunate not to trail by double digits at halftime (though to be fair, an ill-advised McCoy toss to Cosby in the waning moments of the first half— intercepted by the Buckeyes’ Anderson Russell — cost Texas at least 3 points).
Though tonght’s tilt might ultimately have no bearing on the national championship, Oklahoma and Florida will have to produce a thriller on the biggest stage to top this one. A bigger thriller than this, anyway.
Milton Bradley’s only 30 years old, and hit 22 home runs, drove in 77 and hit .321 with an OBP of .436 in 414 at bats for Texas in 2008. Deemed unworthy of a multi-year pact by the Rangers, Bradley signed a 3-year, $30 million contract with the Cubs today, and along with the Sun-Times’ Neil Hayes acknowledging the OF/DH’s “anger management issues”, the ticking timebomb left handed hitter was characterized diplomatically as “not an ideal addition.”
His temper may not be just what the Cubs need. He may give the Cubs the left-handed punch in the middle of the lineup that they desperately seek, but he’s just as likely to go Michael Barrett the first time Zambrano questions his defense. At this point, nobody knows how this forced marriage will end.This much we do know: Mark DeRosa was sent packing in part to make room for Bradley. De Rosa was a versatile, valuable and clutch player for the Cubs last season. His departure, when combined with the loss of long-time clubhouse anchor Kerry Wood and the addition of Bradley, radically alters chemistry that has proven successful — at least during the regular season.
Nobody can say the Cubs aren’t trying. With their latest move, they hope they acquired the missing piece of the postseason puzzle, and who’s to say they haven’t?
Hey, if it’s regular season credentials Hayes is concerned with, Moody Milton’s clubhouse presence didn’t stop the Dodgers or A’s from winning division titles in ‘04 and ‘06 respectively. As of this writing, he has exactly as many World Series rings as DeRosa and Wood combined. There’s obviously an element of risk in discarding a player as versatile as DeRosa, but if Bradley can stay healthy, he’s a genuine upgrade.
Pending the results of a physical exam, free agent OF Pat Burrell has signed a two-year, $16 million contract with the Tampa Rays. As one observer points out, Burrell’s shortcomings in left will be forgotten when he’s replaced Cliff Floyd as Tampa’s designated hitter, while DRays Bay’s R.J. Anderson warns of a potential “quick collapse in skills”. Either way, Burrell will no longer torture New York Mets pitching , and for no other reason I applaud the signing.
The above patch will reportedly be a fixture on Mets home uniforms next season, and MetsBlog’s Matthew Cerrone, veering dangerously close to Paul Lukas territory calls it “one of the most basic, uninspiring designs I have seen in quite some time.” Coming from someone undoubtedly familiar with Chris Cotter’s haircut, that’s pretty harsh.
(what’s the number for the “down in front” hotline?)
That would be “Omg! Drunk Amok Nr 50-yd Line”, a (Gate D inspired?) missive penned by Frances X. Clines (link courtesy David Williams). Family outings (?) to NFL games are, in the words of Clines miserably tainted ; “most disheartening is to see families with small children suffering through the vulgarity. Anyone who considers objecting — by daring to summon a security guard — runs the risk of facing gang retaliation, for the Alpha male bellowers rarely have the guts to stand alone.” Cheer up, would be whistle blowers, as Frances announces , “hope is on the way”.
The National Football League, aware that the stadium experience has soured, has instituted an electronic lifeline. Cellphone texters can privately dial a number displayed at the stadium and complain to security offices without fear of retaliation. The accused disrupter can then be discreetly observed and ejected from the game if guards confirm the abuse.This already has been happening, and some clubs have even stripped offenders of their season tickets. (The league says there has been a minimum of prank texters, and they run the same risks as grandstand rowdies when repeaters are discovered.) The texting alert has been in use at most games and will be in effect at the playoffs and the Super Bowl.
Hooray for the side of civility, but don’t leave the earplugs home yet. Predictably, the yammering world of 24/7 sports talk is debating whether a “rat line” has been invented to abuse the civil rights of the accused. That’s akin to complaining about the traffic cams that catch the plate numbers of lethal hit-and-run drivers.
Actually, there’s no shortage of persons who consider traffic cameras to be an infringement of civil liberties — the late Mike Dickin comes to mind, as does the (sadly) still living Jeremy Clarkson.
“TV Go Home” mastermind Charlie Brooker surveys 2009’s bleak economic state (”The worst recession in 60 years. Broken windows and artless graffiti. Howling winds blowing empty cans past boarded-up shopfronts. Feral children eating sloppy handfuls of decomposed-pigeon-and-baked-bean mulch scraped from the bottom of dustbins in a desperate bid to survive. The pound worth less than the acorn”) and suggests the best means of frugal entertainment is popping round the neighbors’ house and inviting yourself to share a bubble bath with them (”assuming you have attractive neighbours”). From Monday’s Guardian :
Actually that whole bath scenario might represent the way forward. It sounds quite romantic, and authentic romance has been in short supply of late. Authentic romance makes life more enjoyable, but more importantly it costs nothing. Buying flowers and baubles and Parisian city breaks - that’s not authentic romance. That’s lazy showboating. Authentic romance could flourish in a skip. Prove this to yourself. Invite someone on a date and spend the evening sitting in a skip making each other laugh with limericks or something. Get through that and you’ve bonded for life. Or maybe a week. It’s hard to tell when you embark on a new relationship. Still, if you split up: time for more romance with someone else. Everybody wins.Mark my words, you’d be wise to practice your romancing skills now, because when, circa October, we’re huddled together in shelters sharing body heat to survive, the ability to whisper sweet nothings could prove useful. Come the dawn, you’ll need to pair up with someone to go hunting for supplies with, and it’ll help if you’ve been cuddling all night. The world outside will be dangerous, so there’ll have to be two of you. One to root through the abandoned Woolworth’s stockrooms and another to stand outside warding off fellow scavengers with a flaming rag on a stick.
Obviously if two is better than one, it follows that three is better than two, especially in the thick of a food riot. Rather than forming boring old duos as per tradition, polygamous unions involving up to 30 or 40 participants will emerge victorious, roving the landscape in packs by day, writhing around in obscene configurations in their papier-mache huts by night - strictly for the purposes of generating heat, of course. We can all do our bit. I, for one, am fully prepared to take on 50 wives if it’ll help make the world more manageable, provided I don’t have to talk to them and I get to wear a crown and issue decrees and everything.
The Boston Globe’s Mark Blaudschun, amplifying an earlier report from ESPN’s Chris Mortensen, writes that BC head football coach Jeff Jagodzinski has been told he’s history at Chestnut Hill if he interviews for the New York Jets’ head coaching vacancy.
Sources familiar with the situation at BC confirmed that Jagodzinski had been given an ultimatum by school officials and that Jagodzinski contacted members of his staff yesterday telling them he had a decision to make and that the situation would be resolved by tomorrow.
When contacted last night BC athletic director Gene DeFilippo said, “You’ll have to talk to Jeff Jagodzinski. It was his initiative.”
Although Jagodzinski is not regarded as the leading candidate for the Jets job, the second-year BC coach does have ties with Jets quarterback Brett Favre, who may have used his influence to get Jagodzinski on what has turned into a lengthy list of candidates.
The story began evolving several days ago when Jagodzinski’s name surfaced in published reports as a candidate, which was news to BC officials, who dismissed the reports since no one from the Jets had sought permission to speak with Jagodzinski.
When school officials asked Jagodzinski about the reports, the coach told them he had been contacted by the Jets and he was considering interviewing to gauge their interest.
Jagodzinski has led BC to back-to-back Atlantic Coast Conference Atlantic Division titles, but his recent pedigree has been in the NFL, where he had been an assistant since 1999. Included in that period were two stints with Favre in Green Bay. Jagodzinski served as the Packers’ offensive coordinator in 2006 just before moving to the Heights.
What little cannot be learned from the New England Journal Of Medicine, Nick Stevens’ YouTube clips more than compensate for. Still, I had to wonder whom the 00’s premier video auteur rooted for during Saturday’s Manning/Rivers duel? Other than lots of injuries.
Not only was I an employee of the Times company, but I was also a shareholder as a participant in the employee stock plan (stock? What stock? But that’s another sad story).
Therefore, just like John Henry and Tom Werner, I was an owner of the Red Sox. They owned a little more of them than I did, but they didn’t have the conflict that I did.
As first a baseball reporter and then a baseball columnist, I had to write about the Red Sox. During most of my ownership, I was a columnist. The Times company became a 17.5 percent owner of the team Jan. 16, 2002, and I became a columnist two years later.
As far as I know, Times reporters and editors were never asked to give the Red Sox favored treatment. Not that Yankees fans believed that. Write a positive word about the Red Sox, and I was accused of being a citizen of Red Sox Nation (both a phrase and a concept with which I have no use).
But it didn’t even require a pro-Red Sox word. The Times owned the Red Sox, and that was a built-in bias.
Most readers did not differentiate between the Times company and the Times. As far as they were concerned, the Times was a part-owner of the Red Sox and those of us who wrote about baseball were biased because of that status, especially where the coverage related to the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry.
It didn’t matter that my biggest and most frequent critics among readers were Red Sox fans. They were certain I was a diehard Yankees fan, and to them every word I wrote demonstrated that.
My favorite Red Sox fan was a New York lawyer, who got so fed up with the nasty stuff I wrote about his team that he told me in one of his many e-mail messages that he would never again read another of my columns. Except the next time I wrote about the Red Sox he sent me an e-mail complaining about the views I expressed in the column.
“I thought you said you were never going to read another of my columns,” I wrote back.
How best for opposing defenders to contend with the ridiculously strong, skilled (and patriotic!) Dwight Howard? To hear the Orlando F and head coach Stan Van Gundy tell their side of it, assault with intent to maim has become the preferred method. From Florida Today’s John Denton :
In recent games, he’s been jerked down to the floor by his shoulders by Los Angeles’ Zach Randolph and Chicago’s Andres Nocioni. And the goonish tactics by Magloire in Orlando’s 86-76 defeat of Miami on Friday night tested Howard’s restraints.
“It’s tough because sometimes I want to retaliate but that’s not a good thing for me to do for our team,” said Howard. “I just have to find other ways to pay teams back. It’s getting frustrating every night getting hit and pulled on. I’m just trying to take it in stride and keep playing.”
The Magic are trying to do the fighting for their franchise center. Knowing that Howard can’t afford to pick up flagrant and technical fouls, Magic general manager Otis Smith has repeatedly called the NBA league office to complain about the hits that just keep on coming. Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy hasn’t held back discussing the fouls where Howard is getting hit in the shoulder, neck and head. And Van Gundy didn’t pull any punches when describing Magloire’s tackle of Howard from Friday night.
“Magloire’s job is to beat on people and he’s not in there because of his offensive skill,” Van Gundy said. “He’s like those guys in hockey who come in and beat people up. Some of those guys can’t skate, but they have a role. Jamaal Magloire has a role and that role is to beat the hell out of people.”
Paul Laus, while not available for comment, probably doesn’t speak to Stan Van Gundy that often, either. The Magic lost to Toronto earlier today, 108-102, with 19 of Howard’s 39 points coming from the foul line.
Though the Bobcats’ Adam Morrison recently chopped off his girlie-locks, the former Gonzaga scoring machine “still looks dazed and confused” writes Newsday’s Alan Hahn.
This past Tuesday against the Knicks, Morrison bricked his first attempt and air-balled his second, which drew loud groans from the few people who bother attending games in Charlotte. After that, Morrison got the shakes and passed up open looks, which drove coach Larry Brown crazy.
The Bobcats have been shopping Morrison since the start of the season but have drawn no interest in the former lottery pick, who is just another one of Michael Jordan’s awful front-office decisions (Kwame Brown, you actually have company in this category).
His Errness and the ‘Cats didn’t help matters in October by picking up a $5.2-million rookie-scale extension on Morrison for next season. The reasoning for doing this made little sense. Apparently, the option was taken so Morrison couldn’t exercise his no-trade rights this season. So instead of letting him go after this season, the Bobcats likely are on the hook to pay him for another season if they can’t make a trade.
The Knicks Blog cites unnamed sources claiming Porland hopes to reunite Channing Frye with David Lee by trading for the latter. KB’s Tommy Dee correctly surmises Jerryd Bayliss probably isn’t enough to get it done, though I hope there’s some consideration that keeping Lee in a New York uniform only makes MSG a more enticing destination for most free agents in 2010.
Let me rephrase something that I said last post: overall, until it’s April 10, I still prefer the minors for the money, especiallly given that I can watch the Flyers on TV.
And I should certainly include major junior in that preference, which offers much of the same grit (and sloppiness) as bush league, but with big-league talent sprinkled on each roster.
The main difference, I think, is one of emotional temperature. Since the advent of the luxury box/club level/waitress era, lower level NHL fans at a regular season game just aren’t as engaged as people in the cheap seats. Last night’s Staples crowd was fairly feisty, probably because the team is selling all its January tickets, including 100 level spots, for $11.50.
Meanwhile, lower level minor league hockey fans are probably too engaged - from the glass-bangers who pay 20 bucks to the “professional” security guards. From the Flint Journal’s Brendan Savage:
As Flint goaltender Chad Alban was making his way down the ice to exit the ice, he stopped near the scrum of players, took off his mask and had words with Port Huron goalie Larry Sterling.
Alban and Sterling never got a chance to fight and the linesmen quickly got in between them before escorting Alban toward the exit to the dressing rooms.
That’s when the fun started.
According to Alban and several Generals, when Alban got close to the exit behind the Port Huron net, a security guard reached through the door and grabbed Alban, pulling him off the ice.
Bad move.
Alban said he turned and pushed the security guard away, at which point he and several Generals said the security guard punched Alban in the face. Alban did indeed appear to have a welt near his left eye in the dressing room afterward….
No arrests were made but officers told Alban he could press charges against the guard if he wished. Reynolds said Alban declined as long as the guard will be disciplined.
I must admit that overall, until it’s April 10, I still prefer the minors, where the smaller coaching staffs and more mistake-prone players=scoring and entertainment.
Not to mention: fighting. Just when it appeared that they should start one, the Kings changed the momentum of this game with two big hits. The wildly shorthanded Flyers (no Gagne, Briere, Lupul or Giroux) still played well, and certainly had their chances. And made it to first place.
Sam Carchidi of the Philadelphia Inquirer notes that “Just as they had in Anaheim the previous night, hundreds of Flyers fans attended last night’s game. Perhaps they had been at the Rose Bowl to watch Penn State and decided to remain in the Los Angeles area.”
Guilty as charged, but I’m assuming most of them were expats. Happens all over the West and Southwest, but especially in hockey.
Now can someone tell me why Mike Knuble took a Polaroid of himself in the penalty box?
Kevin Love’s looked like every inch the finished product so far tonight in the T-Wolves’ visit to Chicago, and if the hosts go on to lose their third in a row, it might be worth asking if team morale was permanently damaged by Snackgate ‘09. Writes Hoopsworld’s Bill Ingram, “in case you’re wondering why it’s a bad idea to hand an inexperienced coach the head chair for an NBA franchise, you’re starting to see it in Chicago.”
We’re talking about a team that provides food (at least a fruit tray) to the visitor’s locker room before each game and makes food available to their own players as well. It’s also a team that has never had an issue with players eating before a game, even at their lockers. Ben Gordon has often taken ribbing for his habit of making - not just eating, but actually whipping out condiments, constructing, and eating - peanut butter sandwiches in his locker before games.
So all of a sudden Vinny Del Negro decides to not only go off on a group of players, but also fine them for eating in the locker room before a game. Fines were less than a thousand dollars each, but still it’s a strange way to make a point.
It seems to be par for the course for Vinny Del Negro, however, who is going to great lengths to try and establish his authority in the locker room. Given that he’s failed to do it in any traditional way, he beginning to do it in ways that make him seem small and petty. This is a team that fired Scott Skiles at about this time last season because his shrill, power-hungry ways were alienating players. Now it seems they replaced him with someone equally as shrill.
Deadspin’s A.J. Daulerio reports former Chicago Tribune columnist and mascara fiend Jay Mariotti (above, right) will return to active sports journalism on Monday, January 6, as part of AOL’s Fanhouse. Given Mariotti’s recent comments about the death of print media, it’s not the most surprising move, though it remains to be seen if Jay will be responsible for uploading his own JPG’s and/or coding his own hyperlinks.
Whether or not this is a harbinger of similar shifts on the part of mainstream media types remains to be seen, but I remain hopeful Bob Gamere can make a triumphant comeback with MVN Sports or Yardbarker, depending on who has the more attractive package to offer.
Of XX Sports 1090’s new drivetime duo Jordan Smith (aka Jordan from Downtown) and Irwin Earl Milan (aka ATL Earl), station CEO John Lynch optimistically (and incorrectly) cites Jim Rome, J.T. The Brick, Mike North and Mike & The Mad Dog as radio neophytes who shot to sports yack stardom. The North Country Times’ John Maffei, however, insists “the folks who run XX have lost their minds.”
They might be nice people. But they shouldn’t be on the radio. They scream. They yell. They butcher the English language.
Jordan is a New Yorker who is in the restaurant business. The 1090 press release says “he has been an avid listener of XX.” He’s also ill-informed and obnoxious.
ATL Earl served in the Marines as a drill instructor at both Paris Island and MCRD in San Diego. For that, I salute him. He apparently works a mean BBQ and could break me in two with a nod. But he’s not a radio talk-show host.
Honestly, has Lynch listened to these guys? Calling it the worst show on radio would be an understatement. And 1090 is putting them on in drive time.
It tells me that Hal Brown and Lynch couldn’t come to an agreement with Lee Hamilton. It tells me this is a desperation move at a time when ratings and ad sales are in the toilet. It tells me listeners will be sampling XTRA Sports 1360 and the pressure will be on Jeff Dotseth, Mike Costa and Josh Rosenberg to deliver a good show. It tells me Kentera will have to pick up the pieces at night, cleaning up the mess that is Jordan and Earl —- if listeners come back to Kentera’s show.
This hiring is a disgrace, an insult to the intelligence of the San Diego audience.
The San Diego Union Tribune’s Jay Posner seems to concur, saying of XX’s “Bleacher Bums”, “there are so many things wrong with the decision to put them on the air every weekday, I’m not sure where to start.”
Oh, wait, I know: They’re terrible. Horrible. Awful. I mean, I listened to one segment this week, maybe 10 minutes, and my ears hurt – literally. It was like two people had invaded my earphones and were just yelling at me, nonstop. Why would anyone subject themselves to that, especially when there’s no payoff? There’s no insight, no information, nothing.
You know, there’s a reason callers are limited to a minute or two. But these guys are getting four hours. Every day.
(Tech’s Engles, after being reminded that you can lose ‘em all)
Last February, the New Jersey Institute Of Technology’s (alleged) Division One basketball program finished their 2008-09 season with an historic 0-29 mark. Since that time, the Hapless Highlanders, failing to take advantage of the glitzy Prudential Center’s home court advantage, still haven’t won a game. Hoops scribe Peter Robert Casey considers NJIT’s run of ineptitude and is particularly impressed with the creativity of….the athletic department’s Sports Information Director.
For shit’s sake, I decided to riffle through the archives see exactly how the SID went about the challenge over say, the last 40 losses.
After being topped, toppled, carried, stopped, propelled, held off, beaten, edged, thwarted, pulled away, upended, defeated, chilled, worn down, lifted, fallen, and lost multiple times, it doesn’t surprise me that Jim Casciano had to take a T.O. for health reasons. I’m curious to see how long (current head coach) Jim Engles will endure this treatment before his medical insurer raises his premium or he signals for a twenty second breather himself.
Highlanders, will you resolve to win one game in 2009? Not for yourselves - that’s selfish - but for the sake of your writers.?
Of a Marc Stein report claiming estranged Knicks PG Stephon Marbury hoped to sign with the Boston Celtics, ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt sneered, “…and I’d like all rivers and streams to be filled with chocolate pudding.” Messy for the ecosystem then, that Marbury’s dream might be coming true. While Slam’s Marcel Mutoni alludes to the likely impact on Boston’s team chemistry (”the idea of Celtics fans gritting their teeth after being forced to accept Stephon Marbury as one of their own makes me very happy for some odd reason”), Newsday’s Alan Hahn isn’t nearly as excited, promising “LeBron James and the Cavaliers certainly hope Marbury brings his crazy up to Beantown”
It’s a curious fit for Marbury, who wouldn’t get a lot of minutes behing Rondo and would have to contend with Eddie House for ticks at the two behind Ray Allen. Marbury and House have a private feud, which came public during a preseason game at the Garden in October. How does that get settled in the Boston locker room?
But Marbury may prefer to latch on to a winner just to clean up his reputation and hope he can parlay a respectable playoff run into a new contract in July.
I will say this, however, when it comes to the buyout talks. If Stephon really had a team already interested and the team put a dollar amount on the table, you think he’d have wasted the past month holding in a stalemate with Donnie Walsh?
Hahn predicts that in the event Marbury negotiates his buyout, Patrick Ewing Jr. is likely to be summoned from Reno, where he’s averaging 10.5 points per game. Reno’s not scheduled to visit Austin’s D-League entry until April, however, so if I want Pat Jr. to autograph an old menu from the Gold Club, looks like I’ll have to do it at the Garden.
Minnesota might have failed to sell the final 8000 tickets for Sunday’s Wild Card playoff versus Philly required to avoid a local TV blackout, but not for a lack of trying. If DE Jared Allen had been in charge of Norm Coleman’s Senatorial campaign, who knows who large the margin of defeat would’ve been?
While the SF Chronicle’s Henry Schulman can’t confirm earlier reports the Giants have made a formal offer to free agent OF Manny Ramirez, he does offer some insight regarding how the game’s premier space cadet power hitter might end up in the Bay Area.
I can offer this educated guess on what it actually might take to get Ramirez to San Francisco. It has been reported widely that the Dodgers had on the table and then pulled a two-year, $45 million offer to Ramirez. Now I’m told that the Dodgers alternatively offered Ramirez $60 million over three years, also ignored, also pulled off the table.
If so, the starting point for any deal would have to be more than 3/60 — which is a lot more costly than a creative incentive-laden deal that would make sense for the Giants.
One industry source did make a good point, though. The Giants have a lot of money coming off the books next year, roughly $29 million on Randy Winn, Dave Roberts, Bengie Molina and Randy Johnson alone. Now, you have to mitigate that with raises due to Aaron Rowand, Matt Cain, Tim Lincecum, Edgar Renteria, etc…, but still if Ramirez or any other free agent was willing to take a severely backloaded short-term deal, the Giants would be in much better position to pull the trigger.
Grant of McCovey Chronicles scoffs at the rumors, noting his Giants are “supposedly chasing a defensive abomination with a Neptune-orbiting brain, and the proposed commitment would keep him on the team until he’s 40.”
The parallels between Ramirez and Bonds are just too great, and that’s the best frame of reference we have. And the constant, emphatic denials from the Giants front office, including a team spokesperson quoted in the rumor-laden article linked to above, have been constant and emphatic since the offseason began.
If I were convined that the .396/.489/.743 Manny were a good bet going forward, I’d be all for the signing. It’s more likely that the .296/.388/.493 Manny from 2007 would be the player that shows up for the duration of the contract. Combine that with his defense, and you have an overpaid and immovable player who plays one of the only positions of depth on the team (corner outfield), and who doesn’t fix a broken offense by himself.
August 15: He’s come back nicely from a brutal year of a few years ago to reestablish himself as a pretty good offensive player. He’s had a lot of big hits this year. Of course, many of them have come in Citizen’s Bank Jokeyard.
November 2: Streaky and sullen, he still can still hit 30 home runs (at least in Citizens Bank Joke Yard).
January 2:Pretty well limited to the AL by a declining ability to play the field. His bad second half seems to be hurting him, too, but let’s not forget that he hit on the road, too, not just at Citizen’s Bank Jokeyard.
Perhaps a reference to the late Cliff Davies, former Nugent drummer and Atlanta resident, would’ve been more appropriate. If Mike wants to script this stuff in advance, I’d be happy to help
(ED. NOTE : sorry this is running so late, but apparently it was some kinda New Year’s Eve in Chicago — if Mr.’s Scheid and Warmowski wish to hand in their entries after the hangovers pass, so be it. Here’s the 2007 edition. Best wishes to all CSTB contributors, readers, comment pests and legal advisors for a healthy and prosperous 2008. Happiness, is of course, an illusion, as is the hope CSTB’s advertisers might pay a competitive rate. Without exception, I am wishing them a shitty 2009. - GC)
Ben Schwartz
[Team of Rivals indeed: 2008 saw me vote for this Sox fan.]
Let me be clear, I do not respect 2008 personally or professionally.
First, some qualifiers: Since we rarely get a babysitter around here for our two-year-old, the year in review for me pretty much means the year as I witnessed it from my living room couch. I saw two movies in a theater this year. So, my top ten list, in order, is Iron Man and the Chicago punk doc, You Weren’t There. Together, they have it all: music, terrorists, flying men in armor, a guy named Stain that’s not in the punk movie, and (in the punk movie) lots of disgruntled South Siders talking about the “real Chicago” and who comes from the “burbs” and who doesn’t. That this South Side whining is captured on film by the “rockumentarians” is perhaps You Weren’t There’s most important contribution to Western Civilsation, but by no means its only contribution.
That said, 2008 debuted with much promise by offering the spectacle of Roger Clemens in front of the Congress of the United States answering questions on his steroid use. David Roth’s near live-blog of it contained (I said it then and say it now) my favorite CSTB line of 2008, which you can check out here, regarding Republicans and millionaires. And yes, that tops Rog calling me a racist in the comments section.
Certainly The Chicago Tribune’s “White Sox Fan Photos” section brought some much needed comic relief to Our Year. Sox fans come across as they really are, which means Cub fans probably took the pictures. Hosers love watching games at the appropriately named “cell” with their dogs, which gives the fan photography a “dogs playing poker” motif I especially like. Dogs watching Ozzie, the at-home Bud Light neon lights over the basement wet bars, the bad orthodontic work – all the South Side esprit one could hope for in 2008. The 3-3 draw the Sox and Cubs fought to this summer, and their seasons in general, still amaze. Yes, the Pale Ho’s took advantage of some biased umpiring against the Cubs, but they also brought out some great posts from CSTB resident Sox reporter, Rob Warmowski. His brilliant insight into the Bennigans chain closing and a beating administered by sociopathic Cub fans sent into a mid-season wilding frenzy (the Cubs in first place post-July makes weird things happen) shows that not all Sox fans waste their GEDs working out at O’Hare. I can’t knock the South Side completely. It is the home of Hawk Harrelson, an announcer beloved by North Siders, since we don’t have to listen to him and Sox fans do.
My son learning how to speak was a highlight of 2008. Like when he plays Spiderman in the back seat of the car while I drive and “throws webs” at me. “Why are you throwing webs at me?” I asked, “What did I do? Why is daddy the bad guy?” “Because that’s how is,” he shrugged. It’s now the answer he’s taken to giving whenever I ask him, oh, why he’s hitting the tv with a drum stick, or screaming “HI!” out the screen door at no one, or needs to see the same Backyardigans episode for the 30th time.
Certainly 2008 closed on epic notes of inspiration and desperation. I loved the Palin family’s unwed pregnant teens, meth dealing mom-in-law, babies born to debatable parentage, its snowmobile salesman secessionist dad urging his wife on us as Vice-President of the United States, the Wasilla Warriors high school gun show fund raisers, church burnings, and their family witch doctor. I never thought George Bush could close his tenure in office on anything close to the disasters of Katrina and Iraqghanistan. And then came the economic collapse. Even the Cubs owners, the GOP propaganda machine known as the Tribune Corporation, went bust. What did I get for Christmas in the mail? Two copies of the Tribco bankruptcy filing. I guess they sent it to me because I freelanced for their LA Times – a paper making history today as America’s only Wikipedia generated daily. It’s quite a list of ruined properties. And that may be the final insult of the welfare Republicans to their own vertebrae-free evangelical-business base – they ruined Christmas. Fans of It’s A Wonderful Life may recall the Christmas Eve scene where where Uncle Billy loses the $5000 to a cackling Mr. Potter and leaves the Baileys in ruin, prompting this breakdown from George Bailey:
GEORGE (screaming at Billy): Where’s that money, you stupid, silly old fool? Where’s the money? Do you realize what this means? It means bankruptcy and scandal, and prison! That’s what it means! One of us is going to jail! Well, it’s not going to be me!
What I wouldn’t have given this year to see that scene played out by Bush and his Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson, with Old Man Cheney guffawing on his way out the door.
Yeah, a nice note to walk out on – followed by the best 2008 had to offer, Obama’s win, which I believe has been covered in the MSM a bit. That’s how bad the country’s doing. America has turned to a Sox fan.
Rob Warmowski
TOP TEN THINGS OF 2008
1) The Chicago White Sox finally ending a grueling, punishing campaign unparalleled in recent history for its interminable discomfort. But enough about Nick Swisher’s dugout antics, they also took the AL Central in an overtime shootout, sending Burl Ives and his hated Twins moping home back up I-90 West. Jimmy crack corn, motherfuckers.
2-5) LA’s James Loney’s four RBI in the fifth inning of Cubs/Dodgers NLDS Game 1. Sorry, Ben, but that was like the sweet warmth of falling off the wagon after a year of teetotaling. To which NL West team will Lou and company drop three straight NLDS games this year? I’ll give 3-1 that it’s the Giants.
6) Being mistaken for an undercover cop while marching in the Fifth Anniversary of the Iraq War protest in downtown Chicago. It didn’t help that I spotted a CPD patrolman along the march route who I hadn’t seen since we went to elementary school together, prompting a nice gabfest in the middle of the Michigan Avenue ruckus.
7) Releasing a 7″. I love seven inches. This one had a song about a kidney and the chorus goes “urine for a treat.”
8) Wearing a “White Devils For Obama” t-shirt while visiting the campus of University of Chicago. I haven’t confused that many Ph.D. candidates since Tom Frank had my band play a Baffler party and we brought a balloon-twisting, bicycle-horn hoking clown with us to the gig.
9) Seeing CSTB whipping boy Will Leitch finally retired from regular abuse in these powder-blue pages after a good run. Not that he didn’t deserve it - but it’s time to consider complaints about his beat-biting in a new light. If they banned the practice of running with somebody else’s ideas from, say, rock music, the damage to the Interscope roster would be incalculable.
10) Discovering that CSTB’s Ben Schwartz is in fact Bertold Blecht from the paleo-blog suck.com, of which I was a huge fan. I had no idea! Man, what happened there, anyway? I just saw Ana Marie Cox on C-SPAN chirping about Rod Blagojevich’s hair. Rog, if you feel like changing targets this year, email me, I have an idea.
Jason Cohen’s 2009 Top 10
1. The Phillies
2. The Philles
3. The Phillies
4. The Phillies
5. The Phillies
6. The Phillies
7. The Phillies
8. The Phillies
9. The Phillies
10. Phleet Phoxes
Liz Clayton’s Top Ten Unordered Memorable Things of 2008!
1. Accidentally paying a dollar to see a midget at the Wisconsin State Fair
2. Tim Midgett’s smoked pork (just under the deadline)
3. The “You don’t know me! You don’t know a thing about me! Word up!” guy on the B43 bus
4. Almost spilling a large pop on Anthony Bourdain at Hot Doug’s
5. Getting called a “cracker” on the street
6. Trip to Shea to celebrate CSTB’s 5th anniversary with 12 other people, and only talking to the four people there that I already knew really well. (oops)
7. That picture of Chris Nelson in the Moore/Coley No Wave book
8. Meeting my long-lost cousin in Portland, and trying to figure out both genetics and how many macchiatos and orders of candied bacon to get.
9. Doubles (from A&A Trinidad Roti on Fulton, or Doubles King on Nostrand)
10. My Bloody Valentine at All Tomorrow’s Parties New York, louder than I ever rememebered (surely it’s not my age)
David Williams
Some shows:
Beerland’s non-sxsw Sunday 2008.
The Kadane Brothers at Emo’s inside. Sublime.
The New Year at Emo’s outside. Criminally under-attended. Hey, Pinback was up the street.
Almost any Dikes Of Holland show, but especially the one I mixed at Beerland, because it was the best-sounding. Heh.
Those kids from Mexico. Did sound for that too, they were great.
Distant Seconds at Beerland with Air Traffic Controllers and Aaron Blount. The last time I try the idealistic booking of different kinds of bands thingl in Austin, a town where that once would have mixed the different crowds together nicely.
I missed A H Kraken, dammit.
Wes Coleman vs. John Schooley at Beerland. Schooley, the aptly-named song scholar, playing reluctant straightman to Wes’ most entertaining implosion of the year.
Most impressive, easily predictable but taunt-you-with-hope collapses of 2008: (Cowboys, Mets)
Records
In spite of my dormant freelancer tendencies, now residing in a drawer somewhere in the Houston Press offices (freelance contracts worth the paper they are printed on), I was denied access to the milky teats of promosexuality this year, and didn’t buy a lot of records (except for tons of 7″ vinyl) but (no order here, really):
Prisonshake “Dirty Moons” the last gasp of the “record” in the original meaning, a grown-up and wistful record in all the right ways, worth the wait that was so long I’d forgotten about them. Older punks and “punks” take note: here is a way to grow older gracefully, not taking refuge in fiddles and banjos. I turned friends on to this record and their responses became the same kind of sorting bin as “Letterman People vs. Leno People” can be. Thee Oh Sees “The Master’s Bedroom…'’transcending the reverb mannerisms etc etc
New Times Viking: everything I liked about Demolition Plot J-7 (except the lost mint copy my ex helped disappear) + 10 times the art school damage
Actually, I’d like to write a book about art school ‘fags’ turning out good music. Or find a ghost writer for it. Someone else can do the London School of Economics book.
Monotonix: Like the cliché about bee aerodymanics, it shouldn’t work, but it treads the line between Neanderthal and Australopithicus perfectly for me.
The New Year. Stretched their style a bit, and made another slow-burning beauty that, like their others, isn’t really as melancholy as superficial listening suggests. Just honest and clear-eyed.
Jay Reatard. Somewhere between the anti-hip backlash and the backlash backlash, just a buncha good songs.
2008 pet peeve that I can’t really mind that much:
Bands mining retro sounds of the 60s, 70s, 80s, many of whom I like a lot: If the bands you are mimicking did this, there would have been a flood of 70’s acts sounding like Bing Crosby and Burl Ives.
2008 Pet peeve I haven’t made peace with yet:
How Facebook usurps the pleasure of catching up with friends when you see them out.
Chuck Meehan
All in all 2008 was pretty kind to Philly sports fans as for the first time since 1981, all 4 major sports franchises made it to the playoffs and of course, the quarter century championship drought was vanquished
The Phillies finally managed to ride one of their annual late-season surges through the month of October by winning the World Series and doing so in a near seamless fashion.
No flukes, no “Rocky” bullshit, the Fightins won it primarily with via the”Weaverball” of strong pitching and the longball. Even with this WS victory, the partnership that owns the Phillies are still viewed with suspicion and now that Pat Gillick as hired gun is finished, the Phils are going back within their organization by handing the GM reins to former batboy Ruben Amaro Jr, who was literally born into the Phillies country club. It remains to be seen if Amaro can maintain the Phillies as a top flight NL club, but for the near future, the Phillies fan base is happy, the squad will be in the thick of things and for a change, they actually have some serious pitching prospects that are ready/near-ready, although positional prospects remain very thin outside of the currently somewhat blocked Jason Donald and Lou Marson.
Igglephans were a fed-up lot fatigued with either/or/both coach Andy Reid and Donovan Mc Nabb, but with the ridiculously improbable events of this past Sunday that landed them the 2nd wild card, everything is on hold to see which Eagles offfense shows up in the playoffs. The Brian Dawkins-led defense has been very formidable as of late, but Reids overly pass-happy play calling and awful clock management looms over the Birds chances at advancing through the playoffs. The Birds are very capable of advancing to the NFC Championship game and they are just as capable of an embarrasing offensive crapout. A wild-card loss to the Vikings this Sunday will certainly revive the clamor for both the Reid and McNabb eras to be finished that has quieted this week.
The Flyers made a huge bounce back in 2008, and after a slow start for 2008-2009 have been raging as of late, should go deep into the playoffs this coming spring and regardless of their eventual outcome, they will be beloved by their faithful fans who are as ever sunny and optomistic as you are going to find in Philly.
The 76ers made an effort with the Elton Brand acquisition, but Brand got hurt before it could be seen if the team could congeal and the ever-classy Mo Cheeks took the fall. For the time-being the Sixers will remain an afterthought and continue to struggle at the gate.
As far as Phlly music, I have to qualify that I dont keep up as much as in the past but I will cite releases by avant grinders Total Fucking Destruction and the melodicore Paint It Black and am sad to say that reports have the on-hiatus Clockcleaner playing their final show this coming spring.
Tim Cook
The year of Stephen Baldwin’s Lord, 2008, is over, at last. Some important things went well enough (my continued employment, the 2008 US election), and other events maybe less so (my continued employment, Geopolitical tensions, Seattle’s amateur and professional athletic sporting teams I happened to for), but I lived, maintained if not improved slightly, so I’ll call it a win.
In case you had been lulled to indifference, please note that The Best Show on WFMU has never been better than it is right now. Scharpling and Wurster’s institution has gone on for nearly a decade, so I find this achievement very impressive, and a mark of true greatness.
2008 musik I listened to a lot:
1. The New Year The New Year (CD, Touch and Go)
2. Bottomless PitCongress (CDEP, My Pal God)
3. Magik Markers Gucci Rapidshare Download (CD, 3 Lobed
