04.26.17

Having A Cup Of Coffee With Hal McRae

Posted in Baseball, History's Not Happening at 8:37 pm by

Today, let’s celebrate the 24th anniversary of Royals skipper Hal McRae going nuclear on knucklehead reporters. Should I have let this video inform and instruct how I deal with most of you on a daily basis? Probably not, but at least the clothing’s comfortable.

04.18.17

Another Important Announcement From The Entertainment Arm Of Cumbucket Media : Coming May 26, OBNOX – ‘Niggative Approach’

Posted in 12XU, Hip Hop, Internal Affairs, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 2:51 pm by

That we’re nearly midway thru 2017 and some segment of the allegedly savvy music world has either slept on Cleveland’s Lamont Thomas aka OBNOX or continues to damn him with some faint “prolific garage rocker” praise is nothing sort of criminal. OK, not WAR CRIMINAL, but certainly a brand of cultural c(r)ock blockery that neither historians or your kids will look kindly upon.

(photo by Aaron A-Live Snorton)

‘Niggative Approach’ — a knowing nod to Ann Arbor’s other N.A. (with an opening cameo from John Brannon) is the 7th album in Bim’s astonishing unbeaten streak that began with 2011’s ‘I’m Bleeding Now’ and shows no immediate sign of ending. While Thomas’ past genre-defying works have brazenly taken a torch to such record store bin cards as “punk”, “psych”, “hip hop”, “funk”, “new arrivals” and “MISC. O”, ‘Niggative Approach’ is his most bold, fully realized statement to date. There’s no one in what’s left of the underground with a sharper take on the ties that bind these genres, and no eyewitness to the nation-going-to-shit as quick to stand up and throw down than Obnox. If you wanna settle for half steps, by all means, be our guest, but ’Niggative Approach’ shouldn’t merely challenge you to imagine the possibilities, but maybe even get your hands dirty in making them happen.

preorder at 12XU.bigcartel.com

David Fizdale Is Not A Numbers Guy…

Posted in Basketball at 1:28 pm by

…but he’s established a narrative / alibi for Memphis’ inability to stay on the floor with San Antonio for two games in a row.

04.15.17

It’s Time To Set The Record Straight About One Adolescent’s Failure To Heckle Smash (Of Axe & Smash Infamy)

Posted in Free Expression, Professional Wrestling at 12:03 am by

The following Craigslist advertisement, currently running in the North Chicagoland “General Community” section, was found by Dusty James Hill. I don’t want to hype it up to much, but I think it is a more impressive piece of CL work than this. Or this.

Dear sir,

You were at this show (which must have been of the last pre-Repo Man performances for Smash) in about 1991 or so; the main event was Ultimate Warrior vs The Undertaker… which roughly lines up with that years Summerslam and the WWF’s then-habit of just recycling those main events for months after on house shows.

Anyway, Smash was on the card as a low midcarder, having seen the Demolition push completely destroyed by the arrival of LOD/Road Warriors. But, I was still a pretty big fan of Smash so when he came out, I wormed my way through to the aisle to get a good look at him. You sir, were obviously no fan of Smash and took it upon yourself to yell “Smash, you suck!”

Now, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but you did however, leave me in the lurch when Smash stopped his ring walk and approached the aisle to confront who he assumed had insulted him: Me.

You were clearly much older than me, as you had a loud adult voice. And I’m not sure why he thought a 12 year old could have yelled that powerfully, but who am I to judge. I’m willing to completely let bygones be bygones on this… I just need you to come clean to Smash and admit it was you and get me off the hook.

I now live in Philadelphia and Demolition is coming here to wrestle in what is probably a very small and depressing venue. If he recognizes me, there’s a very strong chance he, like a tiger backed into a corner, feels he has nothing to lose and attacks me. I’m pretty sure he’s an old man and I could probably take him PHYSICALLY, but mentally I would rather it not come to that.

I will do what I can to put you both in touch. I think it’s time we all made our peace. Thank you.

04.03.17

Lehane To Pats : Let Adrian Peterson Take His Otherworldly Talents Elsewhere

Posted in Gridiron, Leave No Child Unbeaten, Parental Responsibility at 8:51 pm by

Free agent RB Adrian Peterson’s meeting with New England ended without a contract signing Monday, a circumstance that (for the time being, anyway), should please author/screenwriter Dennis Lehane. In an op/ed for the Boston Globe, Lehane, a former counselor for abused children, declared to Peterson, “You deserve scorn and public approbation. You don’t deserve a contract.”

Adrian Peterson beat up a preschooler so badly the child had cuts on his thights, hands, and abdomen. He had bruises on his lower back and buttocks. Peterson admitted to the child’s mother that he did feel a tiny bit of remorse, but only because he managed to hit the child in the testicles. He mentioned no remorse over filling the child’s mouth with leaves and then stripping the child’s pants to his ankles prior to administering the beating. Because we all know how important it is, if you’re a 6’ 1”, 220-pound man, to gag and strip a preschooler before you beat him with wood.

Instead of chasing rings or another lucrative contract or an ultimately meaningless rushing record for players over 32, maybe Peterson should retire. And take a parenting course. Read a few books on the subject. Get in touch with whatever rage over his own abused inner child comes out when he aspires to “tear up (the) butt” of one of his children. Michael Vick apologized and sought to make restitution for his crimes. That took character, maturity, a reclaiming of his moral center. Adrian Peterson, thus far, has shown that the only center he believes in is his place at the center of the universe and as the apple of God’s eye.

03.21.17

FIFA To Soccer’s Tim Donaghy : Hit The Bricks

Posted in Football at 8:47 pm by

After calling for a (decisive) penalty kick for South Africa on a phantom handbabll by Senegal defender Kalidou Koulibaly during last November’s 2018 World Cup qualifier, Ghanaian referee Joseph Odartei Lamptey has been hit with a lifetime ban by FIFA, as Goal.com’s Evans Gyamera-Antwi details :

“The FIFA disciplinary committee has decided to ban the Ghanaian match official Joseph Odartei Lamptey from taking part in any kind of football-related activity (administrative, sports or any other) at national and international level for life,” a statement read.

“The official was found guilty of breaching art. 69 par. 1 (unlawfully influencing match results) of the Fifa disciplinary code during the 2018 FIFA World Cup Russia qualifying match between South Africa and Senegal on 12 November 2016,” the statement added.

However, unlike Lamptey, assistant referee David Lionheart Nii Lartey Laryea, who was running the touchline when Lamptey made the ‘unthinkable call’ has been pardoned after investigations proved him innocent.

In 2011, Lamptey was handed a six-month ban by CAF when he awarded a dubious goal to Esperance de Tunis in a CAF Champions League game against Egyptian giants Al Ahli.

Yet Another Important Message From The Entertainment Division Of Cumbucket Media : Coming April 14, Xetas’ ‘The Tower’

Posted in 12XU, Austin, Internal Affairs, record collector disease at 8:36 pm by


Xetas
The Tower (12XU 095-1)

The most dangerous letter in the DIY Greek alphabet, XETAS are greeting 2017 with their sophomore album and spring tour, serious as a heart attack and more fun than the drugs they give you in the hospital after the medics bring you back to life.

Pumping through Austin’s clogged Red River arteries since 2014, the Austin firebrands have temporarily broken their vows of Shaolin silence with ten tracks of unadulterated defibrillation –an electrifying monument to distorted melody and verbal hooks brought to a full boil.

This, after spending most of 2016 dedicating their lives to anonymity and heated discussions as to whether the city’s most indispensable soundperson sleeps in his jacket.

Propelled by a new drummer -O.D.J.- who will one day drum a hole to China solely using jazz brushes, XETAS seemingly are on a collision course with the halls of power, despite the absence of any campaign coordination with the Russian ambassador.

Add in the blitzkrieg guitars, bass and vocals of D and K respectively and you’ve arrived at a collection of tools of the trade turned weaponized instruments the likes of which are sure to provoke many a sleepless night at NATO Headquarters.

Recorded over a 24-hour period in the fall of 2016 with engineer Ian Rundell (Carl Sagan’s Skate Shoes, Spray Paint, Empty Markets), the 37-minute, 10-track album was recorded in less than than 7 minutes –a testimony to the band’s energy and capacity for bending time and space after years of monastic devotion.

The melodies are dirty, distorted and delicious, dishing on the world in a jolting and at times unnerving manner, speaking truth to power, assuring a nation already grappling with insomnia under new federal management that it never sleeps again, in soundman Max’s jacket, or otherwise.- Paul Stinson

preorder here