(The Bears’ Kyle Orton and Thomas Jones try to resist singing “can we play you every week?” out loud)

An easy going, fun-loving person like myself would sooner focus on all of the things the Bears did well yesterday (let someone other than Cedric Benson carry the ball most of the time, schedule a game against Detroit, remember to wear pants, etc.) but gloomy gus Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press must not like Mondays (nor does it seem like he enjoyed Sunday very much, either).

By the time the first half ended — and somewhere in heaven a chorus of “Hallelujah” broke out — Detroit had surrendered three interceptions, countless missed tackles, a blocked extra point, a punt return for a touchdown, and — get this — 31 points.

Thirty-one points? In one half? The Bears didn’t score 31 points in a whole game last year! Thirty-one points is, what, a month’s worth of Bears offense? In ONE HALF?

Joey Harrington, when not throwing to the feet, elbows or shoulder blades of his own receivers, was throwing to the hands of the Bears’ defenders. He threw one pass into the meaty palms of a lineman, who blocked it, then intercepted it. He threw another into the waiting fingers of a Chicago cornerback when Roy Williams went the wrong way. He had yet another picked off and returned all the way.

Not that this was all Joey’s fault. His offensive line made FEMA look effective. His celebrated receivers — the law firm of Williams, Williams and Rogers — were open less than a Nike store in Baghdad.

Can you believe it took Albom until Week 2 to use the FEMA line?