Since there are too many terrific things to take away from the Mets’ 8-1 thrashing of the Padres last night (Pedro’s 11 K’s, Carlos Delgado continuing to treat Petco like a bandbox, Ramon Castro’s 3 for 5 night, Jorge Julio pitching an improbable two scoreless innings), I’ll instead focus on the weekend performances of SNY’s microphone fiends, Gary Cohen and Keith Hernandez.

On Friday night, Mex observed “Jose Feliciano warming up in the Mets’ bullpen.”

“That’s Pedro,” said Cohen, gently. “Jose might have trouble throwing strikes.”

“What can I say, Ralph Kiner lives.” replied Hernandez.

During Saturday’s blowout, Hernandez revealed to a stunned Cohen that he’d smoked two and a half packs of cigarettes during the Mets’ 16 inning victory over Houston in Game 6 of the 1986 NLCS. Earlier, Keith described Mike Piazza’s HR off Pedro Martinez as “Mike going commando”, perhaps in homage to the incredibly fugly camoflauge uniforms the Pardres were sporting. Or perhaps he had something else in mind.

While I am certain the Cohen/Hernandez duo are driving non-Mets fans tuning in via or DirectTV to distraction with their giggle-fests, I’m hopeful that by June they’ll have enough material for a compilation CD release on the Laff label.