ROCK ‘N ROLL HALL OF FAME

Bombs away on the Rock ‘n Roll hall of fame
Even if I get indicted I’d probably feel the same
I don’t want to see Eric Clapton’s stuffed baby
I don’t want to see the shotgun of Kurt Cobain
Bombs away bombs away
Cleveland’s cool, Cleveland’s cool
I don’t want to see the liver of David Crosby
I don’t want to see all the drugs I couldn’t take
I don’t want to see collector scum pay

Blow it up, blow it up
Blow it up before Johnny Rotten gets in
Blow it up before Paul Westerberg sits in
Blow it up before Steve Albini gives a speech
Bombs Away Bombs Away
Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, 1995 (lyrics by Ron House)

And while any rational person (present company excepted) should have the strength to not even acknowledge the monument to bullshit that is the Rock’n’Roll Hall Of Fame, today’s news that the Pretenders are amongst the Class Of 2005 inductees can not go without comment. Clearly, there are loose criteria for entry into the Hall, but shouldn’t there be a rule of some sort that releasing more than one passable album is a requirement? While Chrissie Hynde and the two-dead-guys’ 1980 debut album is as close to a universally beloved album from that era that you’ll find (in homes that don’t have many good records), is there anyone on earth (including Hynde and the dead guys) who considers ‘Pretenders II’ to be anything other than a total fucking mess? While lovers of bland AOR surely have favorite songs from the many subsequent Pretenders albums released by Hynde and a successsion of competent hacks, will the Motels be getting a look in, too?

So fuck the Rock’n’Roll Hall Of Fame. Where’s the statue of David Thomas?

Speaking of museums with ever-shifting criteria for entry, congratulations to Peter Gammons, without question the only person to have achieved election to the Baseball Hall Of Fame with a comprehensive knowledge of the Letters To Cleo back catalog. Well, aside from Steve Carlton.